Keys
by Dancerslife
Summary: Based on the songs from Scott Alan, comes an AU diving into the world that involves lack of trust, love, and acceptance.
1. Part 1: It's Good To See You Again

_Part 1: It's Good to See You Again_

* * *

The coffee shop was close to Parker Center – which is what he wanted. He was trying to make it convenient for her. Both kids were, no, one would be in day care; the other would be in school. Or at least that's what he figured. Maybe both kids would be in school.

The thoughts running through Andy Flynn's mind set him on edge. Truth be told he was surprised Sharon Raydor actually answered her phone. Given the fact that he hadn't tried to get into contact with her since the night they yelled at each other loud enough to wake up her kids and the neighbors, he was genuinely surprised. Even more so that she accepted his invitation to get coffee.

Plain and simple: he was nervous.

Coming around the corner, he saw her immediately. The purse perched on her shoulder, her attention pulled by something happening at the end of the street. Her hair had grown out since the last time he saw her. He still could find her in a crowd.

The woman checked her watch. He checked his. He had five minutes left until the time he said he'd be there. But never the less he went to her – drawn to her, really.

Tapping her on the shoulder, Andy stood at a fair distance behind her. She spun around surprised and it faded immediately but the caution stayed in her eyes. An occupational hazard for the life of a cop. Never let down the defenses because someone would always take advantage of it.

"Hey," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Shall we?"

Sharon nodded and stepped closer to him. He suppressed a smile as he opened the door for her, listening to the bell above it announce their arrival.

If he had to bet on her hip was her gun, the other side was her badge. She walked like a cop. She looked like a cop. She was standing straight, her held up high, her attention focused on the room around her, listening for anything that might seem out of the ordinary.

Whatever it was, maybe she was distracted, or trying to understand what was happening, she jumped at the light touch against her lower back. All Andy was trying to do was have her move forward enough for the kid with the tray full of someone's food to get through without knocking her in the head. She tensed. He felt the ripple of muscle in her back.

"How are Ricky and Emily?" He asked, deciding that having a conversation about her kids was safe. It would put them back onto familiar ground. Or at least he hoped.

"Good," she nodded, taking a step forward when the line shifted. "Emily is going to be starting second grade and Ricky is going to be started kindergarten."

"Finger paints and math," Andy smirked. "The joys to be a child."

They shifted forward again. The café

Andy ordered his drink, as did Sharon, who was pulling out her wallet to pay.

"I got it," he said, shaking his head. When she continued to pull her wallet out, he stopped her.

Gently and carefully he covered her hand with his. She tensed again. But she wasn't as surprised this time. She did bristle a little.

"Next time you can buy." He said, handing the woman a $20. He was giving Sharon a smile as he accepted the change and shoved it in his pocket.

Andy let Sharon lead to a small table in the corner near the window. She curled her leg up on the chair, sitting on it. Habit he figured in order to hold a crying Ricky or a pouting Emily. He had seen her do both.

"So," she said after taking a sip of her latte. "Work is good?"

He nodded and wiped the corner of his mouth. "Yeah. Transferred to Priority Homicide last year."

"Robbery Homicide used up their resources?" she questioned. It was because of Robbery Homicide that they met.

"I started to go to meetings," Andy said. "Every Thursday night I'm in a basement of a church or a school and the first thing they tell us it to try something new. So? I transferred."

"Doesn't make it easier."

"Not at all," he said. "But letting go of the past is healthier than holding on to it."

"So why am I here?"

"Because I wasn't the one to let you go," he subtly accused.

Andy Flynn had spent the last two years fighting his demons. He went to AA every Thursday, promising to himself that he would get better. That he would be better. The nights when he felt that it wasn't worth it, that a shot of something, anything would make him feel better he'd think back to the days that were good. The mornings when he'd wake up and have the body of someone he wanted there next to him. The idea of having that back again was enough to put his wallet back and to walk past the convenience store.

"How are your parents?"

He never met them. Almost did. Was going to, but things happened and he found himself at the bottom of the bottle instead.

"Fine," she said, sighing. "My Dad had a heart attack last year. He passed away."

Andy looked up from his coffee with an apology on his lips. It was an automatic response. Occupational hazard.

He figured she had enough people telling her how sorry they were that her father was dead. The last thing she needed was _him_ telling her he was sorry. What was there to be sorry for? He didn't induce the man to have a heart attack.

He knew she was close to the man. Her father was her hero. The way she went on about him, the way she got a spark in her eye when she talked about him. It was unlike anything he ever saw on her.

"My mom took it hard," she offered. "Emily didn't understand and Ricky just played with his toys the entire service."

"Wish I was there with you." He said. Not as anything but a friend.

"Jack was there," she said and now it was Andy's turn to bristle.

The two men used to be friends. They had met from time to time having a drink and Jack was the lawyer of one of Andy's suspects from Robbery Homicide. Sharon and Jack had been fighting in the lobby of the building and that was how Sharon met Andy. As one of Jack's friends.

Jack raced Andy to the bottom of the building and while Jack was chasing his life down the drain, Andy was chasing the man's wife into bed. They had lapsed into a full-fledged affair. She was leaving her kids with her husband who, knowing what they knew now, probably put the beds to sleep and drank until he passed out.

"We're separated now." Sharon said, offering another piece of information for him. "Legally. On the basis of potential child endangerment and alcohol abuse."

Andy nodded. "You filed?"

She nodded. She checked her watch and then gasped. Sharon finished off her coffee and then gathered her purse up and stood.

"Ricky has a half day today," she explained. "I have to pick him up from school before I get Emily."

Andy pushed his chair back and stood. "Of course."

"Are you sure I can't pay-"

Andy shook his head and put his hand up, silencing her.

"I got it," he said honestly. "Cup of coffee isn't going to ruin my bank account."

She didn't look convinced.

"Sharon, really, it's fine."

She nodded and then looked down at her purse and then the table, like she wasn't sure she should believe him.

When she looked up she gave him a small smile. "Thank you."

Andy bowed his head. He watched as she maneuvered her way around the tables, reaching into her purse for her car keys. The bell chimed above the door and he began to gather his things.

She stopped at the window, still rummaging through her purse, looking for her keys.

Nothing could accurately describe what went through his mind at that second. Desperation? Probably. Need? Definitely. But Andy Flynn took the chance and chased her outside.

"Sharon," he said on a breath.

When she turned the time stood still. He was standing outside the coffee shop with her. Like the last two years hadn't happened. Like this was a breakfast date that he left for work just to see her.

He took a step closer and she didn't move. She didn't tense up, she didn't bristle, her skin didn't ripple at his touch when his thumb swept the bone of her jaw. She looked up at him, the flat shoes she wore to chase her children around giving him height. He took advantage of it.

A hand at the back of her neck pulled her forward and time stood still. Soft, quiet, calm was words to describe the moment when he gave into temptation and kissed her.

They fell into familiarity when his thumbs brushed under jaw and her hands fell to his hips. They deepened the kiss on a sigh and he pulled her closer. The honk of the car down the black snapped them back into reality and her hands went from his hips to flat against his chest where she gently pushed him back. They created distance. They had to in order to maintain some semblance of sanity.

"Same time next week?" she questioned.

"Give me a call," he said handing her his card. The number had changed. "I might have a case."

She took it and took a step back. "I have to go."

"I know," he said. "Give me a call, Sharon. I'll answer this time."

She nodded and turned, walking away, the card still in her hand. He waited on the street until she got in her car and pulled away from the curb, disappearing into the traffic.

No one ever said life was simple. No one ever said life was going to be. It was going to be hard and life would throw curveballs and expect you to do one of two things with them. Knock them out of the park or strike out. Three strikes and you're out. Out fighting and fending for yourself against the demons that, in Andy's case, was addiction. He just opened up the door and invited them back in.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Review if you would be so kind.


	2. Part 2: West

Part 2: _West_

California was always warm. Compared to other parts of the country, California on a good day never went below 65 degrees. Anything lower than that and the population was wearing sweaters and jeans while tourists who were from colder parts wore shorts and t-shirts with sandals because California weather was heaven in comparison. Comfortable for people who lived in California was anywhere between 65 and 75, anything else, people were complaining.

Sharon Raydor loved the weather in California. The steadiness of warmth, the fluctuating temperatures never bothered her. Well with the exception of when she was pregnant all through the summer. Her body was always over heating, her body always tired. Now it didn't bother her. Her children, ironically, loved the heat.

It never occurred to her that now, separated from her husband, no ties really to this side of the continent, she didn't have to stay. She could move back to the East Coast, move in temporarily with her parents while she found a new place to work and to live - it would be a nice change of scenery. And pace.

It meant having actual seasons. The leaves on the trees would change colors. The grass would be green in the spring, die off a little in the summer, come back in the fall, only to be littered with snow in the winter. Her children would know what it would be like to wear their coats in the winters and what it would be like to have an actual summer.

But it also meant that she would be taking her children away from their father, which meant that possibly she would have to divorce him, which she was not planning on doing. Not yet anyway. They were separated but still married.

"Mama, did you see what I did?" Emily asked, running up to her, her face red, and partially out of breath. The girl was skin and bones but loved to move. "I made it all the way across!"

Emily,her baby girl was now seven. Her dark brown hair waving in it's ponytail as she came to a stop. She was pointing to the bars behind her.

Sharon smiled at her daughter and nodded. "Good job honey."

It was all that Emily needed. The approval from her mother that what she was doing was no way dangerous. Emily ran back to the jungle gym and scrambled up to the top platform where she waited her turn.

Ricky who had stopped his 'big kid' boasting was attempting the monkey bars himself with the help of Andy, was making his way across. Careful with him, as he always had been, Andy was directing the boy on what to do. When Ricky let go of one bar, Andy's hands came to the boys middle, holding him up as Ricky swung himself to the next bar.

It had been little over a month since Andy had invited her to coffee. Two weeks since Emily saw him at a school function and came home to report to her mother who she saw. It was the girl's idea today to invite Andy. Of course he agreed to the girl's invitation, unable to turn her down, especially when she did the sweet, puppy eyed look with her hands clasped behind her back, routine that she had long since perfected.

Sharon had called him, warned Emily that he might be busy, and ended up surprising everyone when he showed up on her door later that night with food. Ricky had been drawn to him immediately. Something in him the boy attached himself to. She couldn't quite figure it out.

Her breath caught in her throat when Ricky slipped from the bars, her heart in her throat when she watched him fall right on his butt in the sand. It took her back to a time when he was on the swings and Sharon had told him to be careful, to hold on while his sister pushed him. It only took a second, Sharon blinked and the boy had been suspended in mid air, landing on his butt, the air knocked out of him. Then and now, the waterworks began immediately, his cries heard all the way to her her little tree that she was perched up against.

By the time she was on her feet and making her way to them, Andy had the boy in his arms and was already meeting her halfway.

Sharon took her son in her arms as the boy cried pitifully. He was embarrassed more so than hurt. If he was hurt he'd be complaining about the pain, telling her how hurt he was. Instead he just cried into her neck.

"I think we've had enough today," Sharon said, pressing her cheek against Ricky's head and then kissing his hair line.

"Can we go get ice cream?" Emily asked, tugging on Sharon's sweater.

There were those puppy dog eyes that did not work on her. Sharon counted down in her head, before she watched her daughter turn around to give the same look to Andy. Biting her lip, she tilted her head at the man watching as he battled with finding a way to tell her no. He wasn't going to win. There was no way he could tell Emily no. When Andy said nothing, Emily turned around with a grin on her face.

"We're getting ice cream!" Emily said, smiling at her mother.

Sharon looked at her retreating daughter as the girl skipped to the car. Ricky's head snapped up at the prospect of ice cream, his head colliding with her jaw. Inwardly she cursed, hissing as the boy pointed to his sister.

"Ice cream?"

"No," Sharon said.

"Please," Ricky simpered. "I got hurt."

It was Andy's turn to laugh behind her as he came up to them. Sharon's weak spot was her son. Probably because he was the youngest. More prone to injury than his older sister. Made her stress out more.

"Did you now?" Sharon said, messing with his hair. He laughed and swatted, his little fingers curling around her wrist, stopping her. "Do you really want ice cream?"

Ricky nodded and then began to kick his legs. He wanted down. As soon as the boy's feet hit the ground he took off running, chasing after his sister who was already at her door. He was fine. Sharon let out a breath of relief as her son made it to the car. No harm done to the little man.

"It's open," Sharon said, letting her kids in the car from the fob in her purse.

Ricky scrambled in through Emily's side, climbing into his seat and waited for his mother or Andy to snap him in.

Sharon threw her purse in the back seat, where she knew her daughter would rummage through it. Nothing in there for her to have, but knowing Emily she'd find something that would entertain her for the three and a half blocks it would take to get them to get to the ice cream place.

Summer in Los Angeles was never the same year to year. One year it rained for two weeks straight. That was the year they had bodies once or twice every week. They'd be finishing up one case, get another one right on the heels of closing the first one. That was the year Ricky had an ear infection and Sharon couldn't tear herself away from work. She was lead investigator - her first shot at it - and she chose work over her ailing son who Jack ended up taking care of.

"Andy what's your favorite flavor?" Emily asked as she took the man's hand, per her mother's rule.

Anytime they were walking down a crowded street or crossing a street the kids had to have an adults hand. Emily mostly abided. Most times Sharon found herself with two children on either side, or one in her arms and the other in her hand. Now a days Sharon found herself listening to her children's animated conversations as they both held onto Andy's hand.

Today was not so much the case. Ricky still wanted her. He refused to let go when she pulled him out of his car seat.

"I'm a pretty simple guy," she heard him say as she closed the door with her hip. "Vanilla is pretty good."

"But it's so boring," Emily sighed, drawing out the word boring.

"Emily," Sharon said, reprimanding her daughter with a simple click of her tongue. "Be nice."

The girl nodded and became quiet.

It didn't go unnoticed at the amount of people who watched them. Woman with a baby in her arms, a girl holding a man's hand - they looked like a family. She didn't need to be told what it looked like - it only made it worse some how. That this friendly outing was about to get ruined by an overzealous woman who was just so happy.

"Your daughter is adorable," the woman said, passing them. She had a sleeping child baby in her arms.

Sharon said nothing, simply smiled with a nod of her head. Andy stayed quiet too but tugged on Emily's hand giving the girl a wink. She smiled but remained quiet.

"You want to know a secret?" Andy questioned. Emily nodded. "Your mom's favorite ice cream is boring."

"What is it?"

"Chocolate," Andy said, groaning as he said it.

Emily giggled and Sharon couldn't help but smile. Ricky let out a deep sigh, his body relaxing against Sharon's. The deep sigh could only mean one thing. It was almost time for his nap - usually when Emily came home from school she'd do her homework while Ricky slept and by the time dinner was done being made the boy would be up and Emily would be done.

The summer though, the schedules had been altered and now nap time was whenever the boy knocked out and Emily did her projects whenever she felt like.

Andy was holding the door open for them by the time Sharon got there. He gave her a smile and she returned it.

"For the record," she said, stopping just inside the frame, standing nearly toe to toe with him. "Chocolate is not boring."

"Yes ma'am," he conceded. It wasn't until they were in line, him behind her while Emily rattled away about the kinds of ice cream she liked and the time she made ice cream in a ziplock bag, that he got close to her. "Vanilla is still better."

She nudged him back with her elbow, a smile on her face.

"You ever think about leavin' this place?" Andy asked sometime later, the four of them sitting on the patio of the ice cream parlor. Emily content with her ice cream; Ricky asleep in Sharon's lap - his mouth open at her neck.

Sharon shrugged her shoulder. She had a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

"Sometimes," she said honestly. "Before I had him I thought that maybe raising Emily on the East was better."

"The East actually has seasons," Andy quipped. "We have one season."

Sharon laughed and stuck her spoon in her ice cream. Emily would finish hers soon and then ask for more, which is when Sharon will push her cup over. That or Andy would eat it, despite his earlier claim at how boring chocolate was. He loved chocolate more than she did.

"We have seasons," Sharon argued. "Kind of."

"Exactly," Andy said smugly. "When was the last time you were there?"

"The summer before Ricky turned three," she said. "After that, well-"

"Yeah," he said, nodding his head.

He was part of the reason she didn't stay. He was also the reason she didn't go back, despite her promise to her parents. She was going to, but the argument with Jack came around, then the thing with Andy happened and then work - the stars just hadn't aligned yet.

"Maybe for Christmas?"

"Maybe," she said, nodding her head. It was a possibility.

"Mama, I don't feel good," Emily said, leaning back in her chair, a pout on her lips. "My tummy hurts."

Her seven year old frequently turned into a younger child when one of two things happened. She didn't get her way or she honestly wasn't feeling good. Sharon, with the back of her hand, felt her daughter's forehead. Cool.

"You probably had too much before dinner," Sharon admonished. "Thinking its about time to go home?"

Emily nodded.

"Alright," Sharon said, putting the trash in her bowl. Andy gave her a look and she just shrugged.

He knew she hated wasting food. It was already half melted anyway. She just shook her head and he picked it up, picked up all of the trash off the table and threw it away in the nearest trashcan.

The drive to her home was silent. Ricky had woken up a little bit, getting jostled around to get put into the car, but fell right back asleep. Emily simply stared outside the window, watching everything go by.

It gave Sharon time to think about what she was getting herself into. Her children loved Andy. He'd play with Ricky on the floor, throwing around the building blocks the boy liked to crash together. He'd help Emily on her projects if Sharon hadn't gotten home yet, having let the baby sitter go early if she was hung up at work.

Recently, more often than not, Sharon would find her apartment engulfed in an aroma that often belonged to a freshly made meal.

Two years ago she didn't think this would have been the case. Two years ago she wanted to double tap Andrew Flynn to the chest and walk away. But she also wanted to run away, take her children and just run. She wanted to leave Jack behind and never come back.

Yes she thought of the pros of moving back to the East Coast. She would be closer to her family, more support in watching the kids, more opportunities at becoming a legal aide and possibly a lawyer, since her husband went back on that bit too.

But this is where she escaped to. California was her home now, her children's home. It was where Emily's friends were. Sure the girl was capable of making friend's anywhere she went, but Sharon didn't think she had the heart to make Emily start all over.

"You okay?" Andy asked. "You've been quiet."

"I'm fine," she said, quickly and lying to him.

If she was honest with herself she wouldn't be able to stay away from California. She wouldn't be able to stay away from _him._ He had a daughter of his own . he had a daughter who was a little older than Emily that was hardly ever in the country because her mother was - Sharon didn't know what Andy's ex-wife was but it involved traveling and she had custody of their daughter.

When she came back from the East, she went to Andy as soon as she cold. She fell into his arms and told him she missed him. God did she ever. She missed the way he looked at her. She missed the way he sounded when he was making fun of her over something she was fussing about. She missed - Sharon shook her head and cleared her throat.

"Both kids are down for the count," Andy said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder.

She turned in her seat and sure enough both of her children had their head's thrown back with their mouths partially open.

Sharon grinned and then turned back, resting her head back against her seat.

"Hey, you sure you're okay?" Andy questioned, covering her hand on the gear. She didn't pull it back, she wanted to, her body screamed to pull back, but she didn't.

"I would miss California," she said, nodding her head. "I would miss the water. I would miss the lack of seasons. I've been here too long now to even comprehend the winters."

"They're a bare."

"They are." she said. "But god, imagine the fireplaces lit up at night with firewood. The crackle as it burned."

"Get that here too," Andy said.

"It's not the same," she said, tilting her head back and rolling it towards him.

They were still sitting in her car. Neither one made the effort to move. To get out. To break the spell that had been cast on them. She was savoring it. Relishing in it.

"I would miss the sun," she said, smiling. _I would miss you, _she added silently in her head.

He gave her a small smile and sighed. "Take the baby ballerina and I'll take the baby?"

"Sure," she said, finally unbuckling her belt.

Definitely domestic. Definitely unnerving. Another man was helping her tuck in her children. It was just a nap. Just a nap, she thought that would be done when dinner was done. A nap that would involve silence in the house, moments passed as he helped make dinner. Moments of stolen glances, gentle brushes and moments where she just wished. Wished for what? She didn't know, but she definitely didn't want to leave. Leaving him was not something she'd wish for at all.

Kissing her daughter before leaving the confines of peacefulness gave her a chance to pause. She didn't want to leave the west. She didn't want to leave him because then she'd always wonder. Wondering about the west would have to wait until she left. Which, she concluded, was going to be never.

* * *

Thank you all to the reviews! Keep them coming! A new chapter should be posted on Monday.


	3. Part 3: Blessing

Part 3: _Blessing_

It was Alcoholics Anonymous because whatever was said in the room never left the room. No one talked about what they did on Thursday nights at 8pm. It was an arrangement of things that was the excuse. Work was the usual go to excuse when Andy Flynn was married. His wife, for a while bought it, and then when she didn't she automatically assumed he was lying and they fought about it.

Some stories were worse off than his. He was just a guy who had an affair and got divorced and rarely saw his kids. Others had no family. They were forced to go to the meetings because of the courts and once their mandatory sentence was over, they found themselves going back. This was the only sense of normal that they had.

It didn't matter what it was – they were all broken. They were all struggling with their addictions and they all knew they had to take it one day at a time.

Coming out of his meeting, Andy felt a clap on his back. A young guy, late twenties, picked up on the fact that Andy was a cop. Probably because Andy had just come from work and still had his badge on his belt. He tried to put it in his pocket, or leave it hidden under his jacket. Regardless, the kid found out and asked him a few questions. Andy had been going to these meetings for a little over two years now and knew how much information to give out and how much to keep in.

"Thanks for the talk, man," the kid said, sticking out his hand for Andy to shake. "Really appreciate it."

"Not a problem," he said.

Buttoning up his coat, he stuck his hands in his pockets and stepped up to the curb. Thursday nights were usually nights when his ex-wife would be getting off of work late and from time to time pick him up. She was always there on time. Apparently not tonight.

Running a hand over his forehead, his attention was caught by a pair of flashing lights, a signal probably for someone else. It wasn't for him - his ex-wife hated that sort of thing.

But it did give him a chance to survey the parking lot. The normal cars belonging to the members of the meeting were there. He turned his attention back to the curb where he contemplated calling a cab when he realized that one car did stand out.

Looking back, he saw the woman in the front seat. The overhead light was on, she was reading something in the front seat.

Rapping a knuckle against the window, he got her attention. Sharon Raydor in the flesh. In the parking lot of his meeting.

She pointed to the opposite side and leaned over, unlocking the door for him. He swung it open and got it.

"What're you doin' here?" He asked. She closed her book and tossed it into the back seat, where it landed in one of the kids seats.

"Looking for Jack," she said honestly.

"He wasn't in there," he said quickly. "He hasn't been there for months."

She nodded and sighed, reaching over her wheel and pulling an envelope from her dashboard. She handed it to him.

"Do you need a ride?"

Andy took a look over his shoulder at where his ex-wife would usually pick him up and there was no car. He nodded at Sharon and she started the car.

In the envelope was a stack of paperwork. Two sets of documents had been given to her. One involved the details and arrangements of a Legal Separation. The other involved the details and arrangements of a divorce. Or as the top page of the set said, 'Dissolution of Marriage.'

The perks of living in a 'No Fault' state was that all one of the partners had to say was that they were having irreconcilable differences, no court was needed, no one would be found guilty or not guilty for the true reason the marriage was ended; signatures at the bottom was the legal binding that both parties agreed to the terms stated and everyone could get on with their lives.

A legal separation had the same rules as a divorce; only the parties stayed married. The details of money, living situations, custody of children were all taken care of the same way. Benefits of being legally separated were only for the one who needed the other's money.

"When did you get these?" Andy asked.

"Today," she said. "I'm hoping they got lost in the mail somewhere."

"Why?"

"Today is my anniversary."

She turned the corner and came to a slow stop behind another car. They weren't far from his apartment.

"If it makes you feel any better I signed my divorce papers on my birthday." Andy said. "What do you want to do?"

"Kick him to the curb," she said honestly. "But the kids are too little to understand."

"No they're not," Andy said. "Emily knows something's wrong and Rick- the baby hasn't had a father so he doesn't know any different."

"That's the thing," Sharon said pulling under a tree and killing the engine. "Emily keeps asking, which makes Ricky ask. He should have a father. Not some drunk who shows up when he feels like it."

She let the statement hang in silence too long. She realized what she had said and realized where she overstepped her boundaries.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, turning forward.

She expected him to leave. To get out of the car, slam the door and never call her again.

"Jack has his priorities mixed up," Andy said. "He's a good guy but he's too mixed up with gambling and the drink."

"What makes that so special?"

"The adrenaline high. Winning makes you feel powerful and Jack likes that. Drinking comes when he's losing or knows he's lost."

"He wasn't drunk the day he left me."

"But you can guarantee the first stop he made was a dark corner of a bar somewhere." Andy shifted in his seat and turned towards her. "You didn't screw this up. He did."

"My family would beg to differ." She said, rolling her head on the seat towards him.

There was backlash when Sharon moved from the East coast to the West coast. Her parents understood it was for college. They understood that their daughter may never move back home. But the day she called and said she met a boy and they were going to get married, she could feel hell starting to freeze over.

Her mother tried to talk her out of it. Age was thrown around. Sharon was too young to get married. She was too young to start having a family. Too young to do this, too young to do that and never once did her mother ask her if Sharon was happy. At the time she was beyond happy. She wasn't able to stop smiling when she thought about or talked about Jack. He made her so unbelievably happy it was too good to be true.

There wasn't a way she could explain to her parents that she was the same person who they raised. She couldn't figure out how to show them that by her marrying Jack wasn't going to affect the way she lived her life. The morals and rules they put in place since she was a child weren't going to be thrown out of the window. It didn't seem to matter.

So it went that her mother found out she had gotten married by a photo of her and Jack at City Hall where they had a single photo taken and nothing else. She wanted to be married. She wanted to start a family and there was no one else in the world she wanted to do all of it with but Jack. Or at least that's what she thought at the time.

"My father would kill Jack if he could," Sharon said honestly. "I'm sure my father would want to kill me if he found out what I did."

"You didn't do a damn thing," Andy argued. "He left you."

"Because I told him to!" She yelled before taking a deep breath. "I told him to. I told him if wanted to leave and he did."

"Sharon-"

"My children deserve better, Andy," Sharon said. "They deserve someone like-"

She took a deep breath and gave him a small smile. She reached over the console and pressed her knuckles against his cheek, running her thumb against his jaw.

"I'm thinking of taking the kids to my parents for a bit," she said. "I have some vacation days, might cash them in."

His fingers wrapped around her wrist, his thumb brushing the vein that pulsed in his grasp. He reached out with the other hand, brushing the hair away from her face, tucking a thick strand behind her ear.

He missed her. Missed the late nights when they both had a rough day and they fell into bed. He missed the weekends when they were on call but he was able to take her out to lunch. He missed waking up with the smell of coffee. He missed pretending to be domestic knowing that it would end one day. It gave him a thrill.

Having her so close all he had to do was pull her to him. He reached down and undid her seatbelt. The click of the buckle was deafening. Their first time had been a late night in the gym. No one was around. Just them. He took her against the wall.

He ran a hand down her up her arm. They had almost gotten caught once. It was around the time they had decided to take a break for a while. It was in the bathroom stall of one of the bars they had gone too; someone had been looking for Sharon. Something about her food, maybe her drink had gotten there - he couldn't remember. He just remembered her skirt bunched up around her waist, with her palms pressed flat against the metal on both her left and right.

All he had to do was reach out and pull her over. One more time before she left. One more time to get it out of their system. Just once.

"Where are the kids?"

"With Miss Santos down the hall," she said, her voice low and thick.

It was the hand against her thigh, the quiet brush of his thumb over the material of her pants that had her pressing the tips of her fingers against her lips. She let out a shaky breath and pushed her door open, pulling away from him. She got out, slammed it shut and Andy watched as she came around the front and reached for his door.

She wasn't looking at him when she opened the door. She was staring at something down the street and he took it as her telling him it was over. She wanted him out of her car. He undid his seatbelt, gathered his stuff from the console and moved to get out.

His seat went back on a jolt. She was moving him backwards and she was climbing into the car, sitting on his lap. He swallowed hard as she slammed the door. Her hands at his chest came to rest at his neck. Her eyes had darkened considerably.

He drank her in. He savored every last bit of her because he didn't know when the last time he'd see her would be.

Alcoholics Anonymous was to be kept anonymous. The stories the people told were to be kept inside the four walls.

In order to maintain their anonymity, people used different names to keep their true identities hidden. But their stories still remained.

Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.

Once a drug addict, always a drug addict.

Once a police officer, always a police officer.

No one would know.

No one would know that he slept with Sharon Raydor in the front seat of her car under the cover of darkness. No one would know that he slept with her again in the front hallway of his apartment. No one would know he prevented her from leaving because she begged him for one more time.

If there were a way to convince the other people in their lives that nothing had changed it would be a blessing. She was the same person when she left him just before the sun started to rise. Broken and scared. He was the same person when she left. Broken and devoid of any emotion.

_Forgive me father for I have sinned..._

* * *

_Thank you to all who have been reading and writing reviews. I can't express how grateful I am. _

_Let me know what you thought! _


	4. Part 4: And There It Is

Part 4: And there it is…

Staring at the shredder as the documents were cut into pieces, she could feel her heart slowly breaking. This was not the life she envisioned for herself when she fantasized about being whisked off her feet by some man who put her needs before her own and not other way around.

Sharon ran her thumb over the bands on her finger. The band that was given to her the night Jack proposed. It was quiet and intimate. Just them. Perfection. The second band was the ring he slipped on her finger, promising her for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do them part. Listening to the whirring of the machine she tried to figure out which promise was a farce. If any of it had been true.

A near perfect 10 year marriage was lost. Lost to gambling, alcohol and affairs. She shook her head and swallowed hard as she picked up her pen and began to sign the document she saved. Everything, courtesy of her lawyer, filled out everything for her.

The terms of both her separation and divorce would entail different things, but she would retain custody of both children, they would live in the apartment she got, and when Jack was in town, if he was in town, he could have them for the weekend. Granted he stayed in town for that long.

"Mama," she hears. "Mama, look."

In Emily's little hands was a postcard from Jack. The Las Vegas strip printed on the front, his scratchy writing on the back. She didn't need to turn it over to know what he was going to say. He missed them. He missed the kids. Missed Los Angeles. Missed all the hustle and bustle of the town that he didn't get in Los Angeles. Yet he came back only when he wanted.

"Daddy sent you a postcard hmm?" Sharon asked, wrapping an arm around her daughter's thin waist. "This is a new one."

"I'm going to add it to my board," Emily said proudly, skipping away to the room that she shared with her brother.

Every time Jack sent her a postcard, she'd take it and attach it to the collage of cards that Jack had sent them over the past few months. The girl knew nothing of what was going on between her parents.

The doorbell rang and Emily came running out down the hallway, her eyes bright. Sharon expected her to ask if it was her father, but the question never came, just her running to the door and swinging it open.

On the other side was Andy, a bag of to-go food, that he had promised her the week or so before. Before he got wrapped up in a murder investigation and before she got involved in an officer related shooting that had enveloped their lives.

Sharon tucked the stack of papers underneath her latest book and took the stack, putting it in her desk drawer, closing it for later. She didn't think it was appropriate to talk about it with him, not when her children were around. Their little ears picked up on everything.

"Where's Ricky, Em?" Andy asked. "Did you cast some magic spell and make him disappear?"

Emily laughed. Sharon grinned and stood from her desk, rounding the corner, coming up behind Andy. A hand to his back was her greeting. Nothing more. Nothing less. Civil. Adult like.

He tossed a look over his shoulder and winked. He winked and she blushed. She felt like a teenager again.

"You want some of this?" He asked, popping open the styrofoam containers. It was a mixture of various chinese food; rice, broccoli beef, orange chicken, chow mein noodles - some food for everybody.

"Emily, why don't you go wake up your brother." Sharon said, keeping her eyes on Andy. The girl nodded and then the light bulb turned on in her head. "Nicely, please!"

The little girl's head came out from around the corner, her brown eyes full of mischievousness.

"No water?"

"No," Sharon said with a small smile.

"No pillow fight?"

"Nuh uh," Sharon said. She pointed at her daughter, watching as a dark glint flickered in her eye. "NIcely and gently go wake your brother up."

Defeated, Emily disappeared around the corner. They heard the creak of the door and it was then, as if on cue, Andy spun around, an arm around Sharon's waist.

"I haven't seen you in a week," Andy growled. "Not since, you know, with thing."

Sharon let out a sharp laugh, her eyes sparkling. She shook her head. "You're horrible."

"Like you're a saint?" Andy asked watching as she detangled herself from him, seperating them, by sticking the counter in between them. "You're evil when you want to be."

"I use it to my advantage." She grinned, reaching over and snatching a piece of chicken and quickly putting it into her mouth.

"Hey!" He quipped, reaching for her wrist. She was grinning ear to ear when Ricky came out, his blanket dragging behind him.

His fist was in his eyes, his hair askew; he didn't like being woken up from his naps. Especially from Emily. But she knew that if his sister woke him up, there was 100 percent assurance that the boy would seek out his mother, successfully getting him out of his room.

Already bent over waiting for him, Sharon took the boy into her arms, pressing her lips to the boys head. He'd be fine in a minute or so, but just after naps he was clingy. No one was good enough except for Mom.

"Someone is here to see you," Sharon whispered in his ear. Ricky burrowed himself deeper in her chest. "I promise you'll like it."

Ricky shook his head and stuck his thumb in his mouth. Emily was already getting herself a plate of food, assisted as usual by Andy.

The man wiped his hands off on the dishtowel and pointed to the table, silently instructing Emily to go settle herself in. The little girl nodded and did as she was told. Climbing up onto the chair, she pushed her food far enough so if she slipped, everything wouldn't come crashing down.

Andy dropped down to a crouch, his hand on Sharon's knee for support. She gave him a look, silently telling him to be have and he opened his mouth in surprise. He was being good.

"Hey kid," Andy said his voice low. Ricky buried his face further into Sharon's neck. Andy let his fingers dance up the boy's back, causing the kid to squirm. "You wanna say hi?"

Ricky shook his head. Sharon leaned back to get a look at her son's face. He was having too much fun with it.

And then Andy went in for the kill. Both hands at the boy's side had Ricky leaning back into Andy. Worked like a charm every time.

Both kids had long since been put to bed and Andy honestly didn't really feel like going home yet. Sharon had been quiet during dinner. She had been distant during the movie the kids didn't need to strong arm her to watch and she was quiet after she put the kids to bed. He had volunteered to clean up the mess while she read. He was in the bathroom when she came out, slipping out onto the balcony where she had been for the last couple of hours.

He didn't want to pry. He didn't intend on hurting her if that's what he did inadvertently. She was warm to him earlier, but now - he didn't know what was going on with her.

"Warm night tonight," he stated, slipping out and sliding the glass door behind him. The kids were still young enough to have a baby monitor - mostly for Ricky.

Unfortunately Emily wouldn't be any help if there was something wrong with her brother. The kid could and would sleep through just about anything.

He ran a hand over her back, taking note of her curling away from him. He sat close, but not as close as he would like.

"Got something on your mind?"

"I got served last week," Sharon said. She took a deep breath and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Divorce papers."

There wasn't much he could say to that. He himself had gotten served a few months ago and because it was a no-contest situation, he signed over whatever he signed over and that was that. There was no court. Thankfully.

"What do you have to give up?" Andy asked.

"Surprisingly nothing," she said quietly. "Well, he's trying to get half my pension and half of my savings – he gets to pay child support since he's the one who skipped town. At least that's what my lawyer is trying to get."

"You're not going to give him half are you?"

"Not if I can help it," she said. She shifted in her seat, curling her legs under her and resting her chin on her open palm. "The kids have been asking about him."

"Emily gets postcards," Andy said. "Of course they're going to be asking questions."

"Oh she's stopped asking when he was coming back," Sharon said with a small smile. "Ricky is asking about where he is and that just starts Emily on her postcards and the adventures he's been on."

"Adventures?" Andy questioned. "What do you mean he's going on adventures?"

She rolled her eyes. Even in the dark he could see it. Okay, he couldn't see it but he knew her well enough to know she was doing it.

"The hell if I know." She said rising. "What gets me is that he just shows up when he wants to. When he wants something."

She sighed and leaned against the railing of the balcony, clasping her hands in front of her. She was going to say something when the monitor came to life. She threw a look over her shoulder, already moving towards the door to check on the boy, when he settled down.

She let out a shaky breath.

"This is really bothering you." Andy said, standing and putting a hand on her back. "Like really bothering you."

"I never thought my marriage would end in such a shambles." She said. " I never thought that he would just throw it away like a pair of dice, taking a chance."

"What is your lawyer saying?"

"To take him for every penny he's worth, make him pay child support once a month, and hope to god he doesn't declare bankruptcy."

"Do you think he'll do it?"

"With Jack, I don't know any more."

She sighed again an ran a hand over her head, letting it rest there on the top of her head. She gave Andy a small smile.

"Why couldn't he be like you?"

"A broken down drunk?" Andy questioned, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm not much better than he is Sharon."

"We're all a little broken," she pointed out. "In some way, we're all broken. But I didn't mean it like that. You're good with my kids. You're an actual father."

"I don't even get to see my kids," Andy pointed out. "_She_ won't let me."

"Because she doesn't see how you've changed," she said. "Every day you don't take a drink is a day you should be with your children."

He smiled softly at her and leaned in, pressing a kiss to her temple. "You're amazing."

"But I don't deserve you, right?" she shook her head. "I'm getting tired, maybe you -"

"I'll go," he said, nodding, sliding the glass door open to let them both into the warm apartment.

Quietly he gathered his things and as he did she checked on her kids. Ricky was on his back per usual. Emily was sprawled out in every which way, her head on her pillow, blanket half on the girl and half on the bed. Sharon smiled and turned her head to look at Andy, who was coming down the hallway to tell her goodbye.

He took a look into the room and saw the same thing she did. He couldn't help but smile himself.

After having closed the door, she leaned back against it for a brief moment before pushing herself off of it and going to Andy who was fixing his jacket. She smoothed her hands down his chest, the feel of leather warm against her palms.

"I shredded the divorce papers," she said quietly, looking up with a tilt of her head. "I got Separation papers too; same terms and everything."

"You're going to stay married to him?!" Andy growled. "What the hell, Sharon?"

"He's the father of my children, Andy. He's -" Her breath got caught in her throat as she tried to force a smile. "Financial issues are mostly at play here."

"So all that just now?" Andy questioned. "That was just letting me down easy, is that it?"

He spun around on his heel and took off for the front door. He swung it open and stormed out into the hallway, not caring that Sharon was behind him.

"Andy!"

"I'm in love with you," He said, spinning around and getting in her face. "I'm in love with you Sharon and if you can't see that then god help you and the man you married."

The elevator bell dinged. Her neighbor coughed. A baby cried.

'And there it is,' she thought. Her marriage was over. Her life as a married woman with a husband to come home to was over.

'And there it is,' she thought as she got into bed. Life would be forever altered the second her pen touched the papers.

Sharon Raydor the wife was no more.

And there it was. One life traded for another.

* * *

Thank you to all of you who have commented! I can't tell you how grateful I am that you all like this story. It will get a little bit fluffier, but this album that I'm basing these off of is rather angsty.

Continue to read, continue to review, I can't wait to see what you all think.


	5. Part 5: The Dress

Part 5: The Dress

In the report Sharon Raydor would be receiving on her desk it would say that bullets flew. Lots of shouting was both problematic and chaotic. Civilians were running around, crying and screaming, trying to find a hiding place that was away from the line of fire.

She didn't need to imagine what it looked like because she was there. A wellness check had been put into effect and because she had been the point of contact she was selected to conduct the check. Not that she minded. The boy was a good kid. Studied hard, took frequent trips to the library - he had been tangled up in some unfortunate family issues.

She knocked three times. No answer. She was surprised when she saw Andy and his group rolling up in their cars. The team had been dispatched because there was a report of a dead body.

She kicked in the door.

There was no immediate sign of foul play. No sign of a struggled. Everything looked as it should be. Nothing was toppled over and nothing looked as if it had been shifted from one side to another.

An echo of 'ALL CLEAR' filled the house as the other officers went room-to-room clearing it. Sharon had her hand on the bedroom door when the first shot went off.

Everyone ducked. The youngest of Andy's team went running for the window. He shot three times - casings in the house and on the street would confirm that. Another shot went off. Louder this time and then the screaming began.

Taking refuge in the room she came face to face with the victim Andy had been called about. An anonymous call she assumed then, potentially the shooter himself or possibly another family member hiding in one of the rooms.

The identity of the 911 caller would never be found out; the name DOE filed in the report.

"Flynn!" She yelled, the name foreign on her tongue. No response. Another attempt and nothing. "Andy!"

He flew in like his life depended on it. Gun was raised and at the ready. Quickly he holstered it and took a knee on the other side of the body.

"She's dead," he said, standing. Another officer came in with gloves, handing a pair to Andy and another to Sharon. "We need the ME in here first thing."

The officer nodded, turned, and then life stopped. Sharon watched as the man shook as he was rattled with bullets and shrapnel. The initial gunshots had Sharon ducking, lunging behind the closest object that could obstruct the bullet's path.

It would later be reported that the bullet's trajectory was indeed aimed at Sharon's head.

"Can someone please put cuffs on that guy!" Andy yelled, reaching down for Sharon, pulling her up on her feet.

He pointed to the door, leading out to somewhere that was hopefully away from the shooter.

"Are you okay?" he asked once they stepped outside onto the back porch.

"Yeah, you?" she asked, taking a step back. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed.

"Andy?"

He was staring at her, his eyes beginning to water and she took a step closer to him, reaching for his side. The most common areas happened to be leg or the side - he was clutching his side and that's when she found the pool of blood that was starting to stain his coat. The shirt was gone. There was no chance of getting the blood out of that.

"Jesus Christ Andy," Sharon hissed, putting pressure. She lowered him to the stoop and forced him out of his coat, intending on using that to apply pressure.

The sound of gunshots rattled the house, breaking glass. The shouting came from the front yard where officers were yelling at the man to put his gun down. That was all they wanted was for the gun to be put down so they could kick it aside.

No one knew about Andy. Not yet anyway.

The bullets continued to come, shouting continued, and then everything stopped. Silence. Sirens filled in the void seconds later, but there was a period of pure silence.

The report would read that the suspect had been killed due to an officer involved shooting - evidence of self-infliction was no present.

"Flynn," she heard yelled. "Flynn!"

"Out here!" she yelled, her voice hoarse.

Her hand was covering his, the blood not yet seeping through her fingers. Thankfully. She had his head propped on her lap, her fingers quickly brushing his hair back so she could actually see him.

"Flynn?" She heard the officer yell one more time, stepping out onto the back porch. As soon as he saw Flynn with Sharon he took a knee and called into his radio. "We have an officer down. Officer down. Roll Paramedics. We got an officer down."

Sharon wasn't going to let go. Not when his skin was becoming paler as the seconds ticked by.

"Ma'am, we're going to need to move him." Sharon snapped out of her daze, looking up at the Officer and the EMT.

The EMT had a gurney waiting for Andy, a board in another's hands. They had to move him. Meaning she could relieve pressure. In fact another paramedic had his hands over Sharon's. All she had to do was remove it and they'd take over. She wasn't ready for that yet.

"Ma'am, would you like to ride with us?" The EMT asked.

She risked a glance at the officer, Andy's partner, well temporary partner until they found someone who would work well with Andy. He nodded and then shrugged. He knew about their unique relationship. She was married. He was not. He saw her children more than her husband did. Unique and different.

Sharon shook her head and held out her hand for the officer to help her up. He did.

"Did you fire your weapon?" She asked. The officer nodded. "How many rounds were discharged?"

"Four."

"Remind me of that," she said, holding out her hand as the officer switched the safety on before handing it to her.

"Ma'am you can't take my weapon," the officer said.

"Actually I can," she said, straightening her shoulders. "I'm in Internal Affairs - this is what I do. Would you like me to tell you how to do your job?"

"No ma'am," he said, slinking away. "Is there anything else you need from me?"

"Ride with him," she pointed. "Get a statement from him when he gets out of surgery and call me."

She handed him a business card. They were brand new. Barely a week old and already she was handing them out like she had them for years.

"You," she said pointing to a black and white officer. "What's your name?"

"Sanchez, ma'am," he said, putting his hands on his belt.

"Come with me," she instructed.

The report would state that the suspect turned victim had been shot six times, various bullets from various officers. Fragments in the framework of the house indicated that bullets sprayed. The weapon picked up off the body was an automatic weapon that had been purchased illegally; the serial number had been scrubbed off.

The report would state that one officer was killed and another one was injured. The injured officer sustained a bullet wound to the side, the surgery took longer than anticipated due to the fact that the officer flat lined on the table.

She signed her name at the bottom of the report and set it aside, next to her briefcase. She would have to turn it in when she got to the office after the funeral.

"Mommy?" Emily asked from her spot in the hallway.

Sharon turned, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Emily had seen the news and the shooting had been on the news; thank god Emily didn't see the footage of the stretcher and Andy being on it. The girl had been terrified enough at the sight of her mother, unharmed, on the street in the command post.

"You're not going to wear a dress?"

Sharon smiled minutely at her daughter and turned back to the mirror.

"I'm wearing my uniform today," she said. "It's kind of like a dress."

"How? You've got your gun."

It was there, on her hip, easily accessible in the case she needed it. She had been shot at - she had watched a man get murdered in front of her. The man saved her life - she should at least respect him and go to his services.

"It's fancy," Sharon quipped. "Dresses are meant to be fancy, right?"

"I guess," Emily sighed.

Sharon watched as her daughter dumped herself on the couch, her toes pointed as she reached to get the remote from under the table. Ricky must have been playing with it and left it there.

"What's wrong, Em?" Sharon questioned, coming around the couch and taking a seat next to her.

The girl said nothing. She didn't turn the TV on, she just stared blankly ahead of her.

"You want to tell me what's wrong?"

"I don't like your job." The girl stated matter of factly. "You could be hurt."

"I could," she nodded. "But that's why I changed jobs. I'm not usually out there all the time."

"Then why were you that day?"

Sharon sighed. Emily was getting to the age when she wanted to know everything about everything not because she was nosy, but because she wanted to learn.

"There are times when we have to check up on people," Sharon said. "And I was making sure that they were okay."

"Were they?"

Sharon shook her head sadly. Emily nodded her head and then curled herself into a ball on the couch, leaning against her mother.

"Is Andy okay?"

Sharon had come home after spending a night in the hospital and Emily was waiting for her. The babysitter had said that Emily slept very little and refused to get ready until she saw her mother. Emily didn't go to school that day. Sharon was too tired to deal with anything.

Sharon nodded and gave her daughter a smile.

"He's coming home today," Sharon stated.

Emily peaked up and grinned. "Are we picking him up?"

"I'm not sure," Sharon said honestly. She might not be home when he gets released and she knows he doesn't want to wait around for her. "He'll be coming here though after he gets out."

His partner suggested it. Andy's ex-wife was out of the country and his partner wasn't going to babysit him. Unbeknownst to her, his partner had told the Doctor and Nurses that Andy was going to be taken care of by his girlfriend who wasn't really his girlfriend because she was married. And then added as the nurse looked slightly offended and worried, 'It's complicated.'

"Maybe you can wear a dress then!" Emily said, perking up.

There was a knock on the door and Sharon checked her watch. She had to get going and hopefully the babysitter was at the door.

"Maybe," Sharon nodded. "You're going to have to pick one out for me. The blue one or the red one."

Emily jumped off the couch and ran down the hallway, banging the door to her mother's room open.

Sharon rolled her eyes and opened the door for the babysitter. Emily Raydor would take pride in helping pick out the dress for her mother.

She settled the cover on her head, fixing it to where it was perfectly aligned with everything else before stepping out on to the street and getting into her car.

Just another day, she repeated. Just another day.

* * *

I'm once again blown away by the outpour of comments. I really appreciate it and I'm glad you're enjoying this. Tried to alleviate some of the tension with this chapter, but everything is still up in the air for these guys.

I'll hopefully have another chapter in by Tuesday or Wednesday. Started a new job and so my time will be mostly taken up by that. BUT!

Read and review as always and let me know what you think.


	6. Part 6: This Time

Part 6 – This Time

The mediation session had gone just as Sharon had expected. Jack, thankfully, didn't demand anything more than what he previously had agreed to. Her lawyer was prepared for Jack to ask for the moon and Jack didn't as more a dime. It didn't surprise her really – Jack asking for more or less. He was up to something.

Sighing, a headache pounding behind her eyes, Sharon opened the door to her apartment. A few things met her when she stepped over the threshold. The first thing, which didn't help her growing headache, was the sound of her son screaming. The second thing, quickly followed by the screaming, was the sigh of her son running through her living room in nothing but his themed pair of underwear.

His sister was close behind, stopping on the other side of the couch with one of his shirts and pair of pants. Their babysitter, Beth, was right behind with a laundry basket on her hip.

If Sharon had to guess, Beth had successfully given Ricky a bath and began dressing him. She failed doing that and if she knew her children at all, Emily began taunting him with his clothes and out he ran.

"I don't wanna!" Ricky yelled, putting his hands on his hips.

It amused Sharon that she was still standing next to the door and her children had yet to see her. Their 'Mom' radar was usually better than that.

"Ricky," Beth sighed, setting the basket down on the couch. "You don't want your Mom to see you like this do you?"

"I've had my fair share of a naked Ricky," Sharon quipped, effectively earning the room's attention.

Ricky looked to his mother with slightly wide eyes, his mouth partially opened. Once the initial shock of being caught by his mother, his mouth closed and his lips curled into a smile. He launched himself at her, running at full speed.

To anyone who didn't know her, cops and civilians included, the speed in which she dropped her bag and caught her son, pulling him up on her hip was impressive. Ricky was thrilled that his mother was home. Earlier than usual.

Beth was usually there until late, having made dinner and leaving it in the stove for Sharon when she got home. With the new job, Sharon made it a point to be home by 8pm, if not earlier, just so she could tuck her kids into bed and possibly read them a bedtime story.

"Why are you running around naked?" Sharon asked.

Beth moved to pick up Sharon's dropped things and Sharon stopped her.

"I got it," Sharon said. "They behaved?"

"Except for speed racer here," Beth started, tickling Ricky's side. "They're angels."

"Good," she said. "You have money for gas?"

The blonde nodded and smiled. "I'm good to go, boss."

Sharon nodded and watched as Beth picked up the laundry basket and disappeared around the corner, Emily following her with Ricky's clothes in her hand.

Sharon looked to her son and brushed his hair back. She was going to ask him again about his lack of clothes, but Beth reappeared with her purse and keys in hand.

"Bye big guy," Beth said, tickling Ricky's side. She turned to the living room where Emily had situated herself. "Bye Em."

The girl gave Beth a half hearted wave. She didn't seem to mind. Beth turned back to Sharon with a smile.

"See you tomorrow?" Beth questioned.

"I'll give you a call," Sharon nodded.

Beth was great with the kids. If Emily was feeling particularly moody she'd refuse anything Sharon had to offer and demand Beth, who most of the time was at school. The girl was studying to get her degree in Criminology and from time to time she'd ask Sharon a question or two to clarify something she wasn't one hundred percent sure on.

Sharon checked the door after Beth and she looked at her son.

He had this mischievous I didn't do a thing look in his eye that he got from his sister. He was trying to be cute. Trying to get out of running through the apartment in nothing but underwear.

"You going to get dressed?" Sharon asked. Emily looked up from her spot in the living room.

Ricky shook his head and then ducked his head into her neck.

"Are you going to make me pull out the full name?" Sharon gasped. Emily's eyes went wide. The full name was never a good sign. It always meant they were in trouble. "Richard William-"

"Just get dressed!" Emily shouted. Sharon turned on her heel and pointed at her daughter. Then to the couch, silently instructing her daughter that she should sit and stay quiet.

Her head still hurt. This wasn't going to happen. Not now. Not today.

"I was in court today," Sharon said. "That's why Beth was here."

Sharon came around the corner and sat down, holding Ricky like he was a baby. He was almost six for crying out loud, but the boy was acting like a baby, so he was going to be treated like one.

"You get to see your Dad every Wednesday for dinner."

Emily stood up; her eye's bright. "Really?"

"Really," Sharon nodded at both her son and her daughter. That seemed to peak Ricky's interest.

"Does today count?" Emily asked.

"Is today Wednesday?" Sharon questioned. Emily nodded. "Well then today counts."

Her children loved their father. There was no point in denying it. She wasn't going to air her husband's dirty laundry to make her children side with her. One day, when they are old enough they'll know about Jack, they'll know what kind of man he is, father he is and was, and they'll make their own decisions.

Until then, Sharon would be the one to take her children every Wednesday and every other weekend to see their father. If he showed up. If he didn't skip town and not call. He had a knack for doing that.

Having the children gone for the evening meant she was able to have an evening to herself. She could finish up the chores that she liked to do, probably do a load or two of laundry that Beth hadn't gotten around to. Usually if the kids got themselves dirty either at school or at the park, Beth would do a small load just so they had clean clothes if need be. Sharon, usually, work-permitting, would do the loads on Saturday, clean the apartment on Sunday and then her week would start again.

A night to herself involved mulling over the past in a bottle of white wine. They served wine at the dinner she had Jack threw themselves after they got married. They argued for hours over what type, Red or White, and what year - Sharon pointed out to her husband that she was the wine drinker - if he wanted to educate her on hard liquor he could.

She gave everything to Jack. Or at least it seemed that way. They had agreed, since he had already been accepted to law school by the time she graduated college, he would do that while she got a job. She joined the academy at the LAPD and after six months of training she was placed on the streets. There had been nights when she crawled into bed just as he was getting up for class. Other nights she was already in bed when he crawled in and she'd leave first thing in the morning to report in to work.

She had been in the LAPD about two years when she found out she was pregnant with Emily. She had passed out in the lobby of their building and the on-sight ME had ran her blood and low and behold she was pregnant. Not believing the ME she went to the nearest drug store, bought a kit and went home. When the test came back positive she went to Jack's school and waited in the parking lot until he was out. She didn't care that she was in the car for nearly three hours. She was just excited.

Excited for what her life would be like. Excited for the future. The three of them together embarking on whatever life had in store for them.

Emily was a year when Jack graduated from Law School and Sharon had decided when Emily was old enough to be watched by a part time babysitter she herself would go to Law School. Jack had set himself up at a well-established firm and he would then hold up his part of the deal.

Except most nights, at the beginning, he didn't come home. So Sharon got to deal with the sick baby in the middle of the night. Or she got to deal with the packed waiting rooms at the hospital because her husband was too busy mediating a deal gone bad.

She had gone from Patrol to Homicide. The transfer came with a promotion and a pay raise and Jack began drinking.

He would come home drunk and fall into bed. The night she found out she was pregnant with Ricky she had been puking all morning. The second time around she didn't need a test to tell her she was pregnant. It was a no-brainer.

Emily was three when Ricky was born. When Sharon's water broke, as calmly as she could, Sharon told her daughter to call her father. No answer. Sharon instructed Emily to call her father's office. No answer. Sharon called the bar where Jack frequented and the bartender, who knew her from the days when she'd roll Jack out of there, told her Jack hadn't been there either. So, Sharon had Emily pack her backpack with clothes for the next morning and she drove herself to the nearest hospital.

The nurse that had met Sharon and Emily at the Emergency Doors had taken Emily off to the side while they checked on Sharon's status.

"Not your first I see," the doctor said, sweeping in with a smile. "You've got some time left here. You want your daughter with you?"

"Please," Sharon had said.

With Emily it had been a surprise. But with Ricky she wanted to know. She wanted to spend the five months stressing over what clothes to buy for him when he finally came and what color the nursery would be. She enjoyed it.

Even know she loved going shopping for her kids. She liked finding the newest fashion statements that her kids would look cute in. Emily, now that she was old enough to figure out what she wanted, went shopping, but Ricky got what Ricky got and most times he enjoyed it. He liked pockets. He liked sticking things in his pockets.

"No," she sighed. "Maybe tomorrow?"

Andy shrugged his shoulders. He was on the stand most of the morning and probably would be back on the stand once they came back from lunch.

It had been a few days since she had seen him. With the departmental switch and yet another promotion, for both parties, they hadn't seen much of each other. She missed him. Just missed being near him. Missed hearing him talk about how much he hated his job simply because there were days where she hated her job too.

No one liked anyone in Internal Affairs. She learned that very quickly and the hard way. It wasn't her fault that the officer decided to play a game of Russian roulette with himself and a friend and the friend ended up getting shot. She had to file the paperwork, follow the guidelines that had been in place and she had to follow them. To the tee and the officer's, him and his counterparts didn't exactly agree the indefinite suspension.

"You doing anything after court?" Andy asked.

"I was thinking of going to the bar down the street and drowning myself in alcohol," she said honestly, looking at him. "I had a rough night last night."

"You had mediation with Jack yesterday, right?"

Sharon nodded. "Kids get to see him every other weekend."

"That's good, right?"

"For them, yes," Sharon nodded. "For me? I haven't decided."

When they lapsed back into silence, Sharon checked her watch. They had ten more minutes and she still wanted coffee.

"I'm going to grab a cup of coffee from the cart. I'll see you in there?" Sharon asked as she distanced herself from him, moving towards the cart. He nodded and before he could say anything she turned away from him.

She needed to get away. She couldn't fall apart on the front steps of the courthouse. There was no way to tell your part time lover, that you woke up naked in your own bed next to the man you call your husband. There was no way to make that seem - appropriate wasn't the word she was looking for.

Truth be told she didn't know how it happened. Jack had shown up at the apartment, picked up the kids, came back two hours as the court mandated and hung around until after the kids went to bed. Next thing she knew Jack had said something, she said something and then they were falling into bed with each other. She left him in bed while she got dressed for court and left the apartment feeling guilty.

This time had been no different from the last time. Jack came into town, they fell into bed and in a couple of days he would leave. The next time had to be different. Not just for her sake but for her children's.

This time - this time should have been different.

* * *

This is another one of those 'In Sharon's Head' chapters, but I feel like we had to get in her head just a little bit to show the turmoil. Anywho.

Thank you once again for the reviews. I'm still blown away that you guys like this story.

Keep reading, keep reviewing and stay calm until June 8th.


	7. Part 7: Behind These Walls

Part 7: Behind These Walls

The four walls of her home were considered a safety zone. The four walls of her office and the walls of the LAPD building that her office was in was considered a safety zone. For eight hours a day Sharon Raydor could temporarily suspend any and all thoughts of her soon to be ex-husband. But if she were being honest with herself, it would be later rather than sooner.

In the arm of Andy, when he'd come over at night, long after her children had gone to bed, she felt safe. She could pretend that there wasn't another man out there, that Andy was the man, always had been and always would be. If they went out together and people made passing comments about their family, Sharon could pretend, just for a moment that Andy was her husband and the father of her children. No one had to know any different.

The sense of safety lasted a few months. The children had gone with their father every Wednesday and every other weekend just as planned. Two week before Christmas her walls began to crumble. Her safety net that had been thrown at work had a hole. Her safety net at home began to rip as well. The arms of the man she was content pretending with had gone.

Andy was sitting in her office, his hands clasped in his lap, his attention focused on the stack of paperwork he was sure he had to fill out. It wasn't necessarily his fault. Okay so it was one hundred percent his fault that he landed in Sharon's office, but the other guy had it coming.

It bothered him a little bit that Sharon had gone for the other guy, making sure that the other guy was okay. Sure he was still considered a civilian and that they had to do everything in their power to protect the civilians, but when the civilian was Jack Raydor who showed up at Sharon's home drunk at nine in the morning demanding to see his children, Andy had a problem.

Yes, Andy knew Jack from the AA meetings. Yes, Andy heard Jack spin tall tales full well knowing Andy was involved with his wife. Jack had made underhanded comments about it that only Andy picked up because the other members of the meeting were none the wiser.

Andy had been instructed to go downtown by Sharon. Technically he was still on duty. He had come to her after a long night, took a shower and had to head back. Hence why he was in her office waiting for her.

His attention was temporarily pulled at the sound of Jack Raydor yelling at the top of his lungs about indecency and his rights. Andy scoffed and turned around. The man needed the tank. He needed more than the tank and it bothered him that Jack decided to pull this stunt now, before Christmas, in front of his children.

"Lieutenant Flynn," he head when the door swung open, Sharon coming into her office with her back straight and head held high.

"Captain," he swallowed.

They had both recently been promoted. Sharon had been given a cushy office and Andy was stuck with Provenza. Not that he minded. He liked Louie; they had been on a rotation together here and there over the years.

"Do you know why you're here?"

"I have an idea," he nodded, leaning back in his seat, crossing his arms. "But in all honesty Captain, the guy had it coming."

Sharon had begun filling out the paperwork. Andy watched as her hand stilled, her gaze coming up over the top of her glasses, directed at him.

"Is that so?"

"Explain to me in what world it's okay to show up at anyone's house at nine a.m. shouting at anyone in front of children?" Andy asked, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "He was coming at you, Sharon. He was goin-"

"What was he going to do Lieutenant?" Sharon challenged. "Was he going to choke me? Was he going to force himself on me? What was he going to do?"

He looked at her with amazement. She had yet to hit the record button on her little device, yet her finger was hovering over it, itching to hit it at any second.

"Are you ready to begin?"

Andy nodded. She hit the button.

"State your name please," Sharon said, her pen waiting for him to speak.

"Andrew Flynn," he said, his voice mono-toned.

"And what happened on the morning of," Sharon faltered, checking her watch for the date. "December Seventeenth?"

"I was at my girlfriend's house," he said watching her reaction to the term. "I was at my girlfriend's house, taking a shower, grabbing a bite to eat before I went back out."

"And your friend," she said, her voice steady, fully aware of what he said and what she had to say in order to not get fired herself. "Was she expecting you?"

"Yes."

"Was she expecting anyone else?"

"I'm not sure," he said. "You'd have to ask her, but I'm pretty sure she wasn't."

Sharon scribbled a note or two down on her pad. The room had lapsed into silence as she wrote. She slid a note across the table for him.

_I'm not your girlfriend._

His eyes shot up at her and her face was stone. She was in work mode. Being referred to as his girlfriend could put them both into a compromising position. People knew he spent time with her. They knew he spent time with her kids. Everyone assumed they were doing things that would ideally be frowned upon, but no one dared say a thing. They hadn't brought it into the office. Not yet.

Not until now, he amended in his head.

He was suspended for a week due to unwarranted police brutality on an unsuspecting civilian. He tried to fight her on it. She wouldn't have it. He signed his suspension notice and he left.

He couldn't breath when she stepped into the elevator. He couldn't - he wanted a drink. He wanted to drown himself in alcohol and just forget the last year and a half every happened. He wanted to pretend that Sharon Raydor never existed. He wanted to pretend that he never asked her to coffee and he wanted to just forget everything about her.

But how could he when she showed up at his house later in the day. Her children were left with the babysitter. She wanted to talk. He didn't want to talk to her. He wanted to yell at her. He wanted to scream at her. He wanted to degrade her in every way possible. He wanted to do everything and anything to keep his mind off of drinking because one drop of alcohol could kill him.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

Andy stepped aside and gestured for her to come inside. He didn't want to add anything else to his suspension.

Sharon stood awkwardly in the foyer of his apartment. She wasn't invited. She wasn't his guest. She was a nuisance and for that she wasn't allowed to be comfortable.

"What can I do for you Captain?" Andy asked, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I'm assuming this isn't a wellness check to make sure I didn't end up in the bottom of the bottle."

"Andy," Sharon sighed, rubbing her forehead.

It was one thing to explain to her children why they weren't going to see their father for dinner, but it was another to explain why their father wasn't going to make it.

"Are we on first name basis now?" Andy questioned. "Okay fine. What can I do for you _Sharon_."

She snapped her head up at the sharpness in which he said her name. He was angry at her. She deserved it.

"Oh grow up Andy," she snapped back. "This isn't all about you!"

Andy spun around. "Isn't it though? I lost my girlfriend and nearly lost my job all in the same day. How can this not be about me right now?"

"I was never your girlfriend," she said, her voice breaking.

"You're kidding me right?" Andy asked. "Tell me you're joking."

She shook her head just a fraction and gave him a sad smile. He stepped up to her and took her arms in his hands, pulling her to him.

"I told you a long time ago I was in love with you," Andy said. "That hasn't changed. But I can walk out right now if you tell me you don't feel at least something."

When she didn't say a word he did the next thing he thought was right. He kissed her. His thumb brushed her jaw, his nail scraping against her bottom lip lightly and he stepped into her.

There wasn't an ounce of him that wasn't devoted to her. There wasn't a fiber in his being that didn't come alive when she was near him. He was one hundred percent consumed with her. It wasn't a lie when he said he was in love with her.

Was he upset that she chose Jack over him? Yes. But she always would because Jack was the father of her children. She would always choose Jack. Jack would be her weak spot because the man knew her like no one else. He knew how to get under her skin and pull her strings to make her do whatever he wanted.

But Andy knew her weak spots that belonged to another sense of being entirely. He knew how to make her beg. Her breath hot against his neck as he made her whimper and moan. He knew how to push her to the edge, get her to teeter there and pull her over because he wanted to fall off the edge with her. He knew how to make her scream and that filled him with an odd sense of pride.

There was a distinct pace that they had mutually set. It reminded him of music. The rise and fall of a melody, the rumbling of drums that could possibly lead to something but didn't. The music falling away before building up again. Music reminded him of her. Delicate, important, masterful.

It wasn't a surprise to him when he woke up the next morning to find his bed vacant and the spot next to him cold. They had taken advantage of each other and he figured she hadn't told Beth she was spending the night with him.

His phone rang. The shrill sharp ring of a phone breaking apart his otherwise comfortable, understanding bubble.

"Flynn," he grunted into the phone.

"Andy?" Sharon questioned, her voice broken.

He sat up, she had his interest peaked. She wouldn't be calling if there weren't a problem. He listened to her talk, as he got dressed. Coat, pants, and a t-shirt. He slipped his feet into his shoes and grabbed his keys and wallet.

Driving to her house was done essentially on auto-pilot. If he had been kidnapped, bound, blindfolded and thrown into the back of his own car he'd know how to get to Sharon's apartment.

The police presence outside of her apartment bothered him. It meant he was the last call. He swallowed hard and parked his car in his usual spot.

"Sir I can't let you -" A black and white officer said, trying to block Andy.

He flashed his badge, didn't wait to see his face. He took the elevator up to her floor and stepped out into an orchestra of voices, radio chatter and instructions.

Stepping over the threshold he straightened himself, preparing the worse. The apartment had been tossed. Tables upturned, the couch cushions had been tossed. The kitchen was a mess - utensils all over the floor, cabinets opened.

Sharon was sitting in the middle of her eating area, a black and white officer taking her statement.

From first glance it looked like someone had broken in. Under special circumstances, which were the type of lenses he was looking at this from, it was an angry husband who wanted what was his.

"Lieutenant Flynn," a uniform called, waving him over.

Andy nodded and took a glance at Sharon. She hadn't seen him yet. He didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

The uniform took him down the hall to Sharon's room first. To the uniform it looked un-touched. To an insider there were so many things out of place. For starters, the lockbox that she, they, put their guns in when off duty had been on the opposite side of the room near the bathroom. She kept it under her bedside table. Her drawers had been pulled open and the order in which her clothes had been arranged in her closet was off too. She liked dark to light, from right to left. This wasn't that. It was mix and matched.

The paintings on her walls had been shifted.

"We're thinking that the fight initiated in here," the uniform said. "Bodily fluids had been exchanged and a fight broke out."

The uniform signaled for the light to be turned off and low and behold the uv light picked up the fluids on her bed. Andy swallowed hard. He couldn't argue that this might have happened, but he was sure it didn't. It couldn't have. Not when she left his bed hours ago and - he just didn't want it to happen.

Andy nodded and the uniform turned back on the light before signaling into the kid's room. That's where he held his breath. He was expecting to see their room like the living room. Turned upside down, things ripped from their normal places, only that wasn't the case at all.

The room seemed untouched. Both kid's beds were made. The toys in the usual places. Books upright on their shelves. The latest book of Ricky's that he wanted Andy to read a couple days ago just where he left it. Precariously on the edge and just a hip check against the table would send it spiraling to the floor. The room was untouched.

"They went willingly," the uniformed officer said. "They knew the kidnapper."

Andy nodded and cleared his throat, stepping out into the hallway again.

"The victim-" Andy said out of habit. "The Captain. Is she done giving her statement?"

The black and white nodded and Andy nodded his head as well.

"Good." He said. "I'm technically suspended but what I want you to do is drive her to this address. Send her there and tell her to sit and wait."

"I don't think she's going to like that sir."

There was no way in hell she was going to like sitting in his house doing nothing when there was a city wide amber alert out for a Police Officer's kids. But he wanted her to be where he could see her. He needed her behind a set of walls that would become the safest four sets of walls she had ever been in.

If he had too, he'd shoot anyone who took an unwarranted step onto his property and not blink. Her home was her safe zone. Her job was her safe zone. She couldn't be in her home because her children had been taken from it. She couldn't do her job because her children had been taken from her. His arms were her safe zone, a temporary discontinuity from reality. He was going to keep her suspended there until he could get to the bottom of this and start rebuilding her walls for her.

* * *

The ending of this will set up the next chapter. I promise. It's actually one of my favorite chapters to have written.

Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Keep them coming.


	8. Part 8: How Did I End Up Here?

Part: 8 - How Did I End Up here?

The first forty-eight hours of any missing child case were the most crucial. Their main goal was just to find the child. They were lucky if the children were alive for the first twelve hours or so. Most of the time they were dealing with a trigger-happy killer who wanted revenge. This time they didn't have a killer on their hands, but an angry, possibly drunk father.

Andy's home had become central station. There was an influx of LAPD officers, a new district attorney asking Sharon a few questions, a friend or two of Andy's from his day's back in Robbery/Homicide. They had one mission and one mission only - get Sharon's kids back. Preferably alive.

They had taken DNA samples from both Sharon and Andy. Provenza had come in and took Andy into the bathroom, making him do a cheek swab in secret. Provenza knew, called him out on it from time to time and was the only person to ask him whether or not the pool of body fluids could belong to him. The older man had given an ultimatum. Swab if there is, don't swab if there wasn't. Andy swabbed.

It wasn't just because Andy had slept with Sharon. It was because his fingerprints were all over her apartment. His laundry had been mixed in with hers. He read her kids bedtime stories for crying out loud. He was the next closest thing to a father that they had.

Andy was teetering on edge. He had to call his sponsor sometime and get a handle on things. He wanted to raid her liquor cabinet. He wanted to tell them to find the kids without him because he wanted to lose himself at the bottom of a bottle. The higher the proof the better. But there was Sharon. Sharon who was still sitting at his dining room table, filling out papers left and right, nodding her head to questions that had been asked about her separation agreement. Jack had visitation rights; he could be held on a misdemeanor charge or just fined. Or he could walk away scott free.

"Flynn," Andy heard, Provenza calling him over with a wave.

They had dispatched officers to do a search in the general Los Angeles area. Andy had the bus, train, and air put on lockdown, no one was allowed out of the state. If Jack was going to try anything stupid, Andy threw a net down, hopefully before he did.

"How is she?" Provenza asked, nodding his head to the Captain.

"She just lost both of her kids, Louie, how do you think she's doing?"

Understandably, Andy was upset. Provenza was just asking a question. Andy shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know. They gave her some sort of mood stabilizer to calm her down," Andy said. "They've been asking her questions for an hour."

"The DA's office been in here yet?"

"That's who she's talkin' to now," Andy said, nodding his head towards Sharon and the blonde woman.

He himself hadn't talked to her. He stayed at the apartment long enough to get photos of the kids, a photo of Jack and to toss a few orders around. it blew his mind that he had just seen them the day before and now he was searching the entire state for them because their father was trying to powertrip over Sharon.

"Lieutenants?" A black and white called, gaining both of their attention.

Andy threw one more look at Sharon and it was then that their eyes met. She looked scared behind the drugged cloud that was in her eyes. He knew she was scared. These were her babies.

Andy and Provenza followed the officer out into the backyard. Andy still had a view of Sharon, thankfully. The officer handed both men a black and white photo of what looked like Jack.

"When we shut down the rail lines, Union Station sent us this photo," the black and white said. "A man in his late thirties, early forties, tried to buy a train ticket for him and his two kids. Now normally they wouldn't send us just the one photo."

"Well why did they send the photo?" Provenza asked before Andy could.

"Because the man didn't have kids with him," the officer said.

"Where were they going?" Provenza asked.

"The woman didn't say," the officer said, his voice almost sounding sad. "He asked for the next train going to anywhere."

"No one saw the kids?" Andy questioned.

The officer shook his head and Andy turned with a curse under his breath. He was not going to go back in that house and tell Sharon that they had seen Jack but not her kids.

"Jack lives in Vegas," Andy muttered.

"What?"

Andy spun around and slid the glass door open, stepping over the threshold and pointing at the officer he had appointed as Sharon's bodyguard. The woman didn't need one, not while Andy was standing there.

"You," Andy said. "Don't know your name but I need you to go back to the Captain's house and go back into the kid's bedroom. In the room the girl has a board with a bunch of pictures on them. Bag them and bring them all here."

"Andy?" Sharon questioned.

When the officer looked lost, Andy pointed to the door.

"Captain's apartment, girl's room, pictures, go." Andy shoved the officer out the door.

Jack lived in Vegas. If he was going to do anything to get back at Sharon it was take the kids to his home. In Vegas. Which meant, at least he hoped, that Jack was taking his children, unwillingly across state lines, which meant nothing good for Jack.

"Emily gets postcards from Jack," Andy said to Provenza. "Like clock work. Once a week from the same address."

"Any of them will tell us where they are," Provenza said. "Why do we need all of them?"

"She didn't get one last week," Sharon said, earning Andy's attention.

"What?"

"Emily didn't get one," Sharon said. "He didn't show up on Wednesday either."

Andy snapped his fingers and pulled out the chair, sitting in front of Sharon. He cupped her face and smiled sadly at her. He leaned forward and kissed her. To hell with everyone else.

"Flynn," someone called. He turned and saw Thomson, a black and white officer, standing in the doorway to the hallway with a phone in his hand. "For you."

Andy was up on his feet in seconds, spinning to grab the phone.

They had found the kids in the tollbooths going from California to Nevada. Going into Nevada they didn't have to stop the cars, but one of the officers had spotted Jack's car, a license plate provided by the CA DMV; he hadn't applied for new plates with Nevada yet. They had Jack pull over and called the local authorities, who called the LAPD, who called Andy.

"I'm coming with you," Sharon said, standing up when Andy hung up the phone.

Andy slipped his coat on and took the keys from Provenza's outstretched hand.

Andy stepped up to Sharon and cupped her face again, his thumb brushing her jaw. They were standing in the middle of waiting officers and all he wanted was to drink. Drink her in. So he did.

He kissed her until he needed air. He held onto her until he forced himself to pull back and gave her a small, reassuring smile.

"I'll go get them," Andy promised. "I'm bringing them back safe. They're flying them into LAX."

"They're my kids," her voice broke, tears brimming.

He kissed her and then left, leaving Provenza to deal with her.

Per policy, the kids would be taken to the nearest hospital. Sharon would meet them there. Deep down, the cop side of her knew that. The victim, the mother, was too busy wanting to see her children. He understood that.

Andy's car tires screeched as he came to a halt in front LAX. He flashed his badge at the security guard who was ready to tell him he couldn't park wherever he wanted. Oh but he could and no one could tell him otherwise.

He ran through the airport, jumping turnstiles, flashing badges at angry agents who didn't know why he was there. The security knew they were coming. The black and white officers who had been ordered to follow him were close by.

They shut down the gate where the kids were supposed to be in. An ambulance was waiting for them on the tarmac to take the kids. It was a precaution to take the kids to the doctors. Regardless if they showed signs of abuse or not, the doctors had to check them out. Andy had already placed a call, having them be on the lookout. The EMT's would be calling them, giving them an ETA.

Andy watched as the private jet taxied and the steps slowly lowered. A Sherriff officer, with Ricky in his arms was the first out, another with Emily in his arms.

Andy ran. He ran to them as if they were his own children. He ran for Sharon. He was yelling their names, praying that one of them looked up at him. It was Ricky. The boy screaming and leaning out of the Sherrif's arms for Andy

Easily the man slipped his hands under the boy's arm pits and took him. He felt the weight in his chest decrease. Emily held out her arms and Andy couldn't take her. He smoothed her hair and kissed her forehead.

"You okay?" He asked. Emily nodded.

The EMT's had opened the back of the ambulance for the kids and Andy. They needed an escort - he was going to be there escort. He didn't wait to watch Jack being escorted out of the plane and through the airport into Andy's waiting car.

The kids had been diagnosed with partial malnutrition and partial dehydration. The kids had been given IV's with saline, a mixture of sugar and water, getting some color back into their cheeks.

A call had been put into Provenza, per Andy's request to have Sharon brought to the hospital. He was in the hallway, outside of the kid's room when she showed up.

She was breathless, running towards him. He caught her before she went in. They were running tests on Emily.

"They're almost done with them," Andy said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder's and pulling her a little bit down the hallway. "Did Jack say anything to you in the last couple of days that could have caused this?"

"No," Sharon said honestly.

"Has he done anything out of character?" Andy asked.

"No," Sharon said, automatically. "Well he did - no."

"You've got to tell me now before I let you in that room," Andy said. "They're running a rape kit on Emily. It's going to come back negative, Jack isn't that much of an asshole, but I'm going to need to know."

"We had sex," Sharon said. "When he was in town the last time, we slept together."

He looked - he felt - he cleared his throat and nodded. The cop in him wasn't upset. Surprised, but not upset. It possibly gave Jack a chance to take them without her knowing, but that wasn't it. Sharon wouldn't let sex blindside her like that.

"What did you guys fight about?" Andy asked. "He didn't flip your apartment inside out because you two slept together."

"He was drunk," Sharon said, her voice monotone. This was going to sound like a repeated speech and it was. She had told the same thing to everyone who asked her. "He was drunk and wanted the kids. I told him now. So he got angry."

"Did he hit you?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Sharon," Andy growled lowly. "You're going to need to level with me. He took your kids. He has partial custody. He's getting off. I heard the DA talking in the lobby. If he hit you we can get him for assaulting a police officer. We can get him for attempted -"

"He hit me twice," she said. "He hit me first when I told him no and then again when I blocked him from leaving."

He gave her a look. He couldn't decide whether or not she was lying. At this rate he didn't think it mattered. She just wanted to see her kids. She wanted to keep her kids and if it meant lying to Andy she was going to do it. He of all people didn't have the nerve to call her out. It wasn't so much nerve, he wasn't going to.

He was in love her. He was in love with them. All of them. The three of them and he was drowning in it.

He was in love her. He was in love with them. All of them. The three of them and he was drowning in it.

The nurse came out and gave Andy a grin. "You can go in now."

"This is their mother," Andy said, putting a hand on Sharon's lower back.

The nurse's eyes lit up. "They've been asking for you."

Sharon's tight-pursed lips grew into a relieved smile. He let her go. She had to see her children. She would break if she didn't.

He had to fill out a few reports anyway. It would take some time. Hopefully they'd be released within in the next few hours, Sharon would be able to take them home, tuck them into bed and start forgetting the day ever happened.

Andy would offer Sharon and the kids his home until the apartment was released back to her. The kids had been found, but the apartment still was being dusted for Jack's prints. They'd find them but they wouldn't be able to tell how old they were. They wouldn't be able to figure out if they had been placed last night or last month. It was the same with him. It was why he told Provenza and only Provenza about the possibility that Andy's DNA would come up if they ran the bed.

Andy scrubbed a hand over his face as he lowered himself down in the chair outside the kid's room. This was why they didn't let families in on the investigation he figured. Too emotionally involved.

"Those kids are pretty darn cute," the nurse, said as she filled out a thing or two on Emily Raydor's chart. The girl's name was written in big black letters on the cover of the folder. "It's a shame they're here."

"Yeah," Andy let out.

The nurse gave him a small smile before disappearing into her station. God damn he still wanted a drink. He dug in his pocket, hoping for enough change to call his sponsor, but he came up a few cents short. To tell with it.

Andy stood and walked the two feet to the nurses' station and gave the woman a smile.

"Is there a way I can borrow your phone?" Andy asked. "I left my wallet in my car and it's downtown."

"Absolutely," the woman grinned. "Press one for the outside and just go on your way."

Andy punched the number, waited for his sponsor to answer and he explained the situation. His sponsor instructed him to not go anywhere near a bar. Well no duh, Andy didn't want to do that, hence the reason he called. Andy was not to go anywhere near a place that would possibly have alcohol. He was in a hospital; he figured that would probably be safe. Andy was to not go anywhere near a trigger. He was in a hospital with the married woman he was in love with and her two kids who had just been kidnapped. There were so many things wrong with that.

"Yeah this place has a chapel," Andy said, giving the nurse a small shrug, a small apology playing on his lips. "Yeah, yeah I can do that."

Andy nodded and muttered thanks before putting the phone down and handing the entire thing back to the nurse.

"Alcoholic?" she asked, taking Andy by surprise. Andy couldn't help but nod. "I can set you up with some water if you'd like. Give you some sugar. It'll help the urge."

"I'm okay," Andy said, waving her off. "I'll be okay."

"At least take the water." she said, handing him a bottle. "I've got a pretty interesting history with alcoholics. See enough of them come through here."

"Thanks," he said, finally taking it and twisting the cap off.

He dropped back down into his chair, debating on whether or not to go into the room. He wanted to be there with them. He wanted to be there for him and then, then he questioned how he ended up there in the first place.

He met the woman in a bar of all places. He met her on the eve of a departmental switch and he met her the night she found out she was pregnant with her second child. That was how. He said hello, offered to buy her a drink and she said no.

She said no until she said yes and he was a goner. That was how he ended up waiting for her.

All because she said yes.

* * *

Thank you so much to those who are reviewing. Thanks to those who are reading. I kind of strayed away from the lyrics of the song, but I feel like this better suited the story that has been put in place.

Keep reading, keep reviewing and a new chapter should be posted in a couple days or so.


	9. Part 9: His Name

Part 9: His Name

The morning that Ricky was born the sky was grey, the rain threatened in the sky. It was a juxtaposition to the morning that Emily had been born. The day had been warm and the evening was perfect. Emily had been born in the early evening and Ricky had been born in the morning. They had both cried, a smiling nurse had placed them both in her arms. They were her kids. Her life and she'd be damned if something happened to them.

When Emily was born, call it first time parenting, or an over occupational hazard, but she refused to leave her daughter's room. Even when the baby began sleeping through the night she barely made it through the night out of fear that it was all a dream.

Sharon had wandered into the bar where her husband had frequented in searching for her husband. She had left Emily with her neighbor, their daughter was the same age and even at the precocious age of 3 Emily had found a friend.

"Hey Bobby," Sharon grinned as she slid into a high stool, shrugging off her coat. From the quick sweep of the place her husband was nowhere to be seen.

"What can I get you tonight?" Bobby asked.

Bobby was a good man. If Jack was feeling particularly bold he'd bring the kids in and from time to time, the kids would end up in the back and Jack would remain out front getting completely trashed. He'd blame it on a case, he'd blame it on Sharon and a list of other things that never involved him. On those nights, Sharon would get a call from Bobby and he'd meet her in the back with both kids, usually asleep.

"Nothing for now," she said. "Have you seen Jack?"

"Not since yesterday," he said. "Give him some time, he might come around."

Sharon nodded her head and grinned at the man when he put down a drink in front of her.

"Don't worry," he said. "You've got the glow."

Sharon's head snapped up, her fingers barely touching the straw. Her eyes were wide with surprise. Of all people, he would know upon first glance.

"I've got five kids," he shrugged. "I don't need to be a trained professional to know when you've got somethin' goin' on."

Sharon grinned around her straw, sinking back into the stool. She would give her husband about an hour to show up. If he didn't she'd head home, get Emily and tuck the girl into bed. Jack would find out in the morning, if he was there when she woke up.

"Bob, get me a round, will ya?" a man said, appearing next to Sharon. He handed Bobby a bill and grinned, sinking down into the stool next to her.

A single shot appeared on the bar, followed by a beer. Sharon watched as the man knocked back the shot, hissed at the taste and chased it down with the beer.

"Still chasin' skirts?" Bobby asked the man.

"After today Bob," the man began, shaking his head. "Skirt chasing isn't going to be happening for a while."

"Got you stuck in a rut?"

"Got me doin' something, that's for sure," the man said. "It's not necessarily pleasant for other ears."

Sharon wasn't really listening, okay she was. She had been in the LAPD for some time and she was coming off her rotation on Patrol sooner, rather than later she figured. If this guy was a cop, she had never seen him before.

"Don't mind me," Sharon waved. "I've had to deal with enough on my own."

"If you want," the man started, before turning to her. "Andy Flynn."

She looked at his hand and then took it, shaking it. "Sharon Raydor."

"You sure you want to hear about my day?"

"I'm pretty sure I can handle it."

She felt bad about ten minutes later after he was mid-way through his story, when she ran to the bathroom. The thing with morning sickness was that it never happened just in the morning. It could be brought on by anything at any time and just sitting there with him, a wave of nausea had came over her and she was bolting for the bathroom.

She came back with an apology on her lips. He was in his booth alone, cradling his cup. He didn't look bothered by her leaving, but - she shook her head. There was something else.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked when she slipped back into the booth.

"Thanks," Sharon said. "But I'm good with this."

"That's not a drink," he scoffed. "Let me buy you a real drink."

"This is a real drink," Sharon said, drinking it just to make a point. "I can't drink alcohol right now anyway."

The man looked surprised as she took another sip of her soda. She shrugged her shoulder.

"Comes with being pregnant I guess."

It wasn't a piece of information she had told anyone else. The words coming out of her mouth was so foreign yet so familiar. It filled her with this sense of pride that only she had the pleasure of saying. It was odd.

"Well when you can drink," Andy amended, shifting himself on his side of the booth to make him more comfortable. "Have a drink with alcohol in it, will you let me buy it for you then?"

"Sure," she said, a grin on her lips.

It had been a year, twelve months almost to the day and she had been cleared to go back into the field. Richard, Ricky as Emily had become prone to calling him, was almost four months, born a month premature because he was impatient. The doctors kept him in the hospital for an extra couple of days, just to be on the safe side, but from the rest of the tests, the baby was fine. She was fine.

She wanted to celebrate. She wanted a drink. A real drink. A strong drink that would make her woozy and dizzy and giggle uncontrollably because for once she was letting herself go. She had been not only released of maternity leave, but she also was being promoted when she stepped back into the field. She deserved to celebrate and Jack was letting her. Jack was playing Mr. Mom for the evening while she did whatever she wanted.

Call it habit, crawling into the bar demurely, or ashamed because most times, pregnant or not, she was finding Jack in here, but now, she had no reason to be. There were bottles in the fridge for Ricky, there was enough formula to get him through the night and through part of the next day.

She was almost expecting a call mid way through her celebration from her husband or daughter; mostly she was expecting it from Emily who would be complaining that the baby won't stop crying. The girl complained about that frequently and incessantly, but it was the only way Ricky could speak. Which Sharon attempted to explain to her almost 4 year old daughter who was having none of it.

"You look like you could use a drink," the bartender said.

This one was younger than Bobby. A lot younger. The name on his tag said, 'Nik'. Tall, blonde, wore his baseball cap backwards. It made her smile.

"I do," Sharon sighed, slipping into the stool right in front of him. "Something strong."

"Anything in particular?"

"Surprise me," she said with a smile.

The kid, Nik, went to the other end of the bar and Sharon took in the sounds of the bar. Mostly young adults had been coming in and going out, some shouting at each other. It was Thursday, so it must have been a college night that she missed out on. Not that she minded. The beer pong table was still set up on the far end of the bar. From the things she had seen the place was popular for their beer pong championships.

"I'll have whatever she's having," a voice behind her said. "Make it two and open up a tab for me, will ya Nik?"

The bartender tossed a look over his shoulder at the sound of his name. The man smiled and nodded his head, turning back to the drink he was making.

Sharon looked over her shoulder and grinned. She had a feeling he would be here.

"Andy," she nodded as he slipped into the bar stool next to her, his knee bumping hers as he did.

"Sharon," he returned. "Or should I say Lieutenant Raydor?"

"How did you know?" she asked quickly, the sound of her new title foreign to her ears.

"Please half the department knows," Andy scoffed, putting a twenty out in front of him. "It's like high school on that side. One thing happens and everyone knows. Superiors included."

Sharon laughed into her drink that Nik had placed in front of her. She took a drink and sighed at the burn that traveled down her throat. God did that feel good.

Andy smiled at her and took a drink of his own.

"Rumor has it you had your kid," Andy said.

Sharon nodded. "Eight pounds, ten ounces, and premature."

"Damn," Andy said. "Big kid."

Sharon shrugged and took another drink. "My daughter was six pounds."

Andy shook his head. His kids were six pounds and weighed ounces apart from each other. Despite the fact that they were born years apart from each other. HIs wife, ex-wife, ate the same thing both times, with the exception of her different cravings.

He had worked with Sharon from time to time throughout her pregnancy. As she came closer to maternity leave, she was off the field, worked from the office and then that was when they all heard of the transfer.

She was being transferred into Internal Affairs. Well, further into Internal Affairs. She was replacing Rogers, the sleaziest LAPD officer on the planet, who was in charge of the small team of officers who investigated other officers. They weren't the most popular group of people. It would be interesting to see what she would do in the department.

"New rank and a new corner office," Andy remarked. "What else could you need?"

"It sounds like you're real excited about me being in IA." Sharon retorted. "Are people taking bets?"

"There's six hundred on week one," Andy said quickly. "Twelve for two, and no one has done anything beyond that. Some people have a little faith in you."

"And where did you put your money?"

"In your drink," he said coolly. "And whatever else you decide to drink tonight or any other night."

It took her back, the forwardness of the situation. Who knew how long he had been drinking before she got there. There were no signs of him being drunk, there were no signs of anything that would implicate him. Now, now he was showing signs of intoxication. It, for whatever reason, didn't bother her.

"Where are the kids?"

"With my husband."

"You want to get out of here?" He asked. The subtext evident.

"No," she said. "Drinking or not I'm still married."

Sharon finished her drink and pushed the tumbler aside, reaching behind her to get her coat. She checked her watch. She had been out for a few hours. Ricky would be waking up in an hour or so and want to be fed.

"Thank you for the drink," she said, before slipping off the stool and exiting out of the back.

The night was cool. The lights on the street were the only night around, the moon being blocked by the clouds. She dug her keys out of her pocket, fully intending to drive home as slowly as legally possible.

She stopped and turned back to the bar, contemplating going back in and asking for water. She sighed and ran a hand over her forehead. She should go back in, ask Nik to call a car or her - no if he called Jack it meant he would have to wake up the kids and put them in the car and that would just be a headache that would last for days.

There was a liquor store at the end of the block she could go to for water. Or juice. Something that would force the buzzing in her body to stop.

"Sharon!" she heard as she took a step towards the liquor store.

Sighing, she turned back to find Andy jogging lightly towards her. He too had his coat on and his hands were shoved into his pocket when he approached her.

"Look," he said. "I'm sorry. I just thought - shit - I mean -"

He took a receipt out of his pocket and showed it to her. Then he ripped it in half and then crumpled the halves in his hands and tossed it to the floor.

"There was a bet going on," Flynn said, clearing his throat. "The boys wanted - you haven't even started the damn job and no one likes you."

"So you thought it would be okay to liquor me up and then proposition me. Was that it Detective?" Sharon asked, taking a look at her watch.

It was 12:01. She was officially a Lieutenant of the LAPD. She was officially the woman to get this man in trouble.

"What time do you start your shift?" Sharon asked.

When Andy said nothing she continued on.

"You are to go home and sober up," Sharon ordered. "You are to report to my office by nine a.m. Do I make myself clear?"

Andy looked at her slack jawed.

"What the hell-"

"Detective," Sharon said, making a point, holding up her watch wrist. "Go home, sober up and we'll talk about this in the morning. I have outstanding reports of misbehavior I really don't want to talk about right now. I want to go home, check on my kids, and get some sleep. You should do the same."

It would be a six-month probation period that Andy would have to go through after showing up in Sharon's office completely gone. In that probation period he would have to go to Anger Management classes, a version of a rehab program for officers, and restricted to desk duty depending on the case. His service weapon would be taken from him and until Sharon Raydor cleared him for duty, he would be get it back.

Until then, she wished his name would stay off her desk. Until then he wished he didn't know her name.

* * *

Thank you so much for the reviews and for the reads. Keep doing what you all do and I'll post another chapter soon. Ya'll will see what happens with Jack, I promise.


	10. Part 10: The Dance

Part 10: The Dance

It was almost six in the morning when the phone rang. Sharon paused, leaning over her desk to pull out the finalized settlement that Jack had signed. He was giving up his custodial rights, he was no longer able to earn spousal support and he was no longer able to visit his children unless he called in advanced, giving Sharon time to have someone escort her children and supervise them.

There was going to be an arrest, a trial, Jack would have gotten jail time and a large fine if it hadn't been for the fact that he and his lawyer pointed out it was his weekend with the kids and it was in the previous order that on the weekends he was able to take the children to his home in Las Vegas. Despite the fact that California was the children's 'home state' he had Joint Custody.

Sharon now had sole physical and legal custody of Emily and Ricky. Everything was starting to give her a headache. She was just glad it was over and until her divorce was finalized, which she had filed at her request, she never had to see Jack Raydor again. She couldn't force her children to stay away from their father – they would one day grow up and see for themselves.

Her landline had been silent for seconds before it rang again. Groaning, she stepped into the kitchen and picked up the phone, sighing into it.

"Yes?"

"Captain?" she heard yelled. It sounded like Andy. At least she hoped it was Andy. "Sharon can you hear me?"

"Yeah," she said, pressing a hand to her ear as if it would help. "What's going on?"

"We might need Internal Affairs down here," he yelled. "We've got a standoff between two cops and a body."

"Have they fired their weapons?"

"Not yet," Andy said, his voice lower, obviously in doors now. "They've been at this for almost two hours now."

"They've been at this – it's – where are you?"

"Griffith Park," Andy said. "Up near the Sheriff's station off of –"

"I know where it is," she said quickly. She checked her watch and put her blazer on. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Beth should be here in –"

A knock sounded on her door and she sighed gratefully. She opened the door, the phone cord stretched as she stretched to open it. She gave Beth a smile and a wave.

"I'll be there soon," Sharon said, hanging up the phone.

Griffith Park first thing in the morning was always empty. A few joggers here and there getting their morning routine finished before they headed home and into work. It was a shortcut for early commuters in order to bypass the freeways.

Sharon pulled her car up behind Andy's. The EMT van had been pulled up onto the grass, as was two black and white cars, which she could only assume belonged to the officers who were in their own version of a Western standoff.

She noticed Andy far off, next to his partner and next to a small team of officers. Tucking her hair behind her ear, she pulled out the pen from her pocket and slipped her notebook into her small pant pocket before making her way to them.

"Gentlemen," she called out, earning everyone's attention, but the officer's. "Officers, why don't we put the guns down."

"Not going to happen ma'am," one said, having tossed a quick look in her direction. "This man killed my wife."

"The hell I did," the other officer shouted at him. "She was already dead when I got here."

Sharon snapped her attention up to Andy who looked equally as surprised. He put a hand on his hip and swayed from foot to foot before taking a step forward.

"Craig," Andy said, trying and making it personal. "Let's put the gun down, huh? You don't want IA on your ass for the rest of your career do you?"

Sharon rolled her eyes. He enjoyed reminding her she was part of the most disliked department of the LAPD. She understood that. Didn't mean she liked it when he brought it up. It paid the bills.

"You know Meg wasn't' one to step out on you," Andy continued. "You were gonna have a baby."

Sharon took a look at the woman who was in deed dead but there were no visible signs of pregnancy. Meaning either she was a few months or she already had the baby and Andy was behind on the news.

The woman was blonde and pretty even in death. Her body had been splayed in a way that could indicate just being dropped off and forgotten. There was no personalization to the placement of the body. Whoever killed her did it viciously and void of emotion.

The sound of Andy grunting against Craig, Sharon turned with enough time to grab the other officer before he lunged for Andy and Craig. She managed to pull the man's arms behind his back and restrain him.

"You put your hands on either of them and you will be in my office," Sharon said. "Now, let me ask you a couple questions. Can I do that?"

When the man said nothing, Sharon straightened and took a step forward. She had managed to turn the officer's arms in, creating a discomfort in his shoulders.

"I didn't hear you."

"Yes ma'am," the officer grunted. He sighed with an ounce of relief when Sharon slackened her grip.

"Good." Sharon said. "First question. Did you fire your weapon?"

"No."

"Were you the responding officer?"

"Yes."

Sharon let him go completely. He stepped away and rubbed his shoulder.

"Look Captain," the officer started.

Sharon raised a hand, silencing him, not wanting to hear anything that could further implicate him and give her a large headache. She pointed to the officer she was dealing with and then to the cars.

"Downtown," she ordered. "My office."

She checked her watch.

"One hour," she continued. "Both of you. Understand?"

In unison they both replied, 'Yes ma'am."

Sharon nodded and watched as her officer left and Craig waited, before pushing Andy off of him and stalked away.

Sharon gave him a small smile as Andy approached her, her palm flat against her forehead.

"Detective!" The ME yelled, gaining both, well all four of their attention. "She's not dead!"

The victim had been brutally raped. Violently raped to the point where she was good as dead. The men didn't bother checking her to see if she had a pulse. Not that they would be able to find one, according to the ME; it was faint.

She had been taken to the hospital and a rape kit had been done. Sharon wanted the hair, skin, and anything else that would give her information. Not that she wanted one of the officers from the morning to be charged with rape, not that she wanted to color one of her officers in that kind of light, but if she had to she would. Only if they did it. Only if she had too.

She found herself walking through the wing of the hospital in a daze. She had gotten a call from the hospital herself saying that the girl was awake. When she arrived, Sharon didn't expect half the department sitting in the hallway, glaring at her as she made her way to the room.

It put her on edge. It made her nervous. She didn't like the feeling. It meant that they all knew something she didn't and they were waiting for her to find out what they knew and watch as she sunk into the black hole. Straightening up after faltering for a fraction of a section, she crossed the watching, critical eyes of the men who tracked her.

Carefully she pushed the door open and as she assumed, because she had temporarily cleared them when the preliminary screening came through, both men from the morning were sitting with her victim. In the corner stood Andy – the woman had to be questioned by Andy as well.

"Gentlemen," Sharon said quietly. The officers, void of their uniform, stood, and both offered her a chair.

Touched for a brief moment, Sharon waved her hand, having them both sit. She could stand. She had to stand.

"Morning Meg," Sharon said, matching the eyes of the blonde woman sitting up in the bed.

The woman said nothing, her eyes watered as she looked up at Sharon.

"She hasn't said a thing, Captain," Craig mentioned. "Not even to the nurses."

"Okay," Sharon nodded. "Gentlemen why don't you go tell the boys outside what's going on. Lieutenant Flynn, care to make a call of your own?"

"Captain I need-"

"Same page Lieutenant," Sharon said quickly.

Sitting in a room full of men after being violated the way that this woman had been was traumatizing on it's own. Having to talk about the attack was it's own nightmare Sharon wanted to hopefully spare this girl.

Sharon said nothing more, simply waited until the room had cleared out. Andy had stopped in front of her, his fingers gently on her wrist, and she nodded. She was okay. He was okay. They – not necessarily had to be okay. It was a rough couple of weeks and Sharon wanted nothing more to have a small break.

"Hi Meg," she repeated, taking a seat close to the bed. "My name is Sharon Raydor. I'm here to – do you think you can tell me what happened last night?"

The girl nodded her head, opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She shut it and began to tear up again.

Sharon reached across the bed and put a hand on Meg's, offering a small ounce of support.

"You were raped?" Sharon questioned. The girl nodded. "Do you know who did it?"

"No," she said quietly, her voice breaking. "I was at a – it's – we – it was a party."

It would explain the blood alcohol level and the other contents found in her system after they pumped her stomach. Sharon nodded and put that piece of information into the back of her mind, saving it for later. It would make Andy's list of suspects a tad bit longer, but necessary.

"What else can you tell me?"

"We were dancing," she said, giving Sharon a small smile. "He was like – it's a cliché but he came out of nowhere, asked if I wanted a drink and then danced with me."

"It was perfect," Sharon offered. The girl nodded.

"Like out of those movies," she said wistfully. "And then we- he kissed me and told me he would take care of me."

Sharon nodded. "And?"

"And then we started to," the girl's voice cracked and she shook her head. "I didn't think – I asked if he had protection and then he got angry."

"Okay," Sharon nodded and pushed her chair back, standing. "I've got enough for now. Another officer is going to be coming in after me. He's going to ask you the same questions. I can have him stay out if you'd like me to."

Meg nodded and then looked up at Sharon.

"He said he was a lawyer," Meg said. "Almost a lawyer. I don't know if that helps any."

Sharon smiled and nodded her head. "It does, Meg. It does. Get some rest. I'll be by tomorrow to see how you're doing."

Sharon slipped out and was partially surprised to see the hallway having been cleared out. The only person who was there was Andy, at the end of the hallway, his phone against his ear. As she approached him she was quiet, careful, didn't want to intrude on anything he was trying to take care of.

As far as she knew the case was Andy's. There was nothing left for her to do. The cops had been cleared as far as she was concerned, unless they were both at the party, then she'd have a bigger problem. Meg could be covering for her boyfriend, or lover, or whoever she was trying to cover for.

Nevertheless, she was going to back off. Let Andy take care of it and let him fill her in when he came home, over, she corrected mentally. He was at her apartment more often then not, a few times he had run into Beth, but the girl never said a thing when they both left the kids asleep.

Andy had joked that he should buy the apartment next to Sharon's, break down the wall, and let Beth take the extra room. She considered it, but the girl was almost done with her education, the kids would be able to be in school all day, and the need for Beth wouldn't be as great.

"Everything okay?" Andy questioned.

Sharon nodded. "She was raped by someone who was at the party she went to."

"Would explain the alcohol level," Andy nodded. "Anything else?"

"She had never met him before," Sharon said. "Came in on a white horse, wooed her and tried to take her to bed."

"Almost killed her in the process," Andy remarked. "Okay, good. Thanks."

Andy took a step back, running a hand through his hair and turning around. It was a lot in the short span of time. He had work to do. He had a lot of work to do.

"Andy," Sharon sighed, stepping up behind him at the doors to the elevator and running her hands up his back.

He stepped on the elevator, moved to the side to make room for her and hit the button to close the doors. He waited, watching the floors tick by before turning to her and taking her face in his hands.

He kissed her like his life depended on it. He touched her like it was the last thing he was going to do. That death was going to meet him on the other side of the doors and the only thing in his system that he wanted was her.

He always wanted her. There was no doubt. But having her was a different situation. Having her meant all of her. The job, the title, the kids – all of it. The rumors were affecting his job. The remarks he heard in the morning at the coffee cart on the corner were weighing him down. But he was a professional, he was skilled, he danced around them, between them and pretended that none of them existed.

Too bad she was a better dancer than he was. She didn't fall victim to scrutiny.

* * *

As I said before, this is AU. I'm finally getting to the point were this is AU. The rest could be considered pre-canon, but hey, I'm working with what I've got.

Thank you for the reviews. Thank you for the interest in the story. I truly appreciate it.

Happy Memorial Day!


	11. Part 11: Again

Part 11 – Again

Andy had been so close to getting out of the office at a reasonable hour. They had wrapped up the case from the week before, Meg's case. Meg has passed away two days prior, making it a murder, instead of an attempted one. Not to mention the charges they were hopefully going to get whoever did this to her for rape, kidnapping, and whatever else they were going to get him for.

Her funeral was going to be in a few days, the family wanted time to say goodbye, fly relatives in from out of state - she wasn't going anywhere. Andy took a look at the file on his desk - all he had to do was drop it off and then get into the elevator to go home. He'd be going to his place, since Sharon had called him earlier saying she was taking the kids up north for the weekend.

Andy was putting his coat on when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. A small movement. He was the only one in the room and whatever this was immediately put him on edge. Smoothing his coat, putting his gun in his holster, he heard a small giggle.

Tilting his head, Andy listened harder. He heard the ruffle of clothes, a small gasp and then another round of small breathless giggles. Then it clicked. It was a child.

Andy rounded the corner of his desk, he knew that this kid found a small hiding spot on the other side of his desk. Andy took a look under his desk and saw the small sized feet with those light up shoes that every little kid, both boys and girls wanted.

Taking a knee, Andy took a look around the corner of his desk, matching the kids eyes. It was Ricky. Sharon's Ricky. The woman was probably in the lobby or the elevator or wherever she was having a heart attack.

"What's up kid?" Andy questioned.

All Ricky did was giggle, burying his face in his knees. Andy shook his head. Before he could say anything else, he heard the elevator bell and Andy straightened. Ricky's head snapped up at the sound of Sharon's voice and Andy winked at the kid, putting a hand to his lips. Ricky nodded.

"Ricky?" Sharon yelled. "Ricky where- _Andy_."

"Hey," he said, putting his hands in his pockets. Sharon had Emily by the hand. "What's up?"

"Have you seen Ricky?" she asked, her voice breathless. "We have to be on the road before it get's dark."

"No idea where the kid is," Andy shrugged, pointing his finger to the desk. He circled his finger.

"Andy," Sharon sighed. "I don't have time to –"

He pointed to the other side of his desk again and then pointed to his lips, like he did with Ricky. He pointed at her and circled his finger, silently telling her to go around, take the kid by surprise.

Andy reached for Emily as Sharon went and did what Andy suggested. Andy lifted Emily easily, put her on his hip and tapped her nose, making the girl laugh. Together, they watched Sharon sneak around the desk, crouching down behind Ricky.

"Boo," Sharon said quietly into her son's ear.

Ricky let out a gasp and shot forward, trying to get away. He ran into Andy's leg's and then when he backed up he went right into Sharon's waiting arms.

Her palm flat against his stomach and another hand under the boy's armpit, Sharon stood. The boy was wiggling out of her grasp, or attempting to anyway.

She twisted Ricky, holding him upside down. She wasn't going to be that way for long, the blood would rush to his head and give him a headache. Her arm was wrapped around his waist, tight against her front. She ducked as his legs flailed. He tried to bend himself out of her grasp, his legs shooting forward in the direction of Andy and Emily.

"Okay," Sharon said. "Now that I have both my children, we can leave."

"I'm afraid not, Captain," a voice from behind them said. It was a black and white officer, a female, a large stack of files in her hands. "Lieutenant Flynn, you have another body."

"And why am I needed?" Sharon asked, righting Ricky, settling him on his hip.

Together Sharon and Andy looked like a family, with both kids on their hips. Sharon's purse was still on her shoulder, Andy had his coat on – they both were leaving.

"Because the victim works for you," the officer said. "A Miss Willcrest."

Sharon straightened, her eyes immediately watering. She had given Beth the night off, she had given Beth the next few days off since both kids were going to be with her and Sharon didn't need her.

"Um," Sharon said. "Do you need me to-"

"Identify the body," the officer said. "Yes. If you'd like I can take your children to day care and you can go with Lieutenant Flynn to the scene?"

"Where is the scene?"

"Hollywood Hills," the officer said. "Near the Observatory."

Sharon bit her lip, pressed her lips to Ricky's head and nodded.

She had been silent through the entire ride. Emily and Ricky had initially been confused as to why they had gone to the office to pick up Andy, surprising him with an impromptu vacation and in turn went with the Officer to day care.

"Mommy has to work," Sharon said, her voice broken as she kissed both of her children's heads and offered their hands to the Officer.

She told them she loved them. God did she ever. She wanted to protect them. She wanted them close.

The tent for the command center had been set up. She could see the group of Detectives, Patrol and a few members from the ME office gathered underneath.

Andy had slipped his hand over hers, giving it a light squeeze before releasing it. She reached over and weaved her fingers in with hers, taking him by surprise. When he looked over she was teary eyed.

"You don't have to come out," Andy mentioned. "Stay here in the car and I'll just take you to the ME's when I'm done."

"No," she forced out. She shook her head and smiled sadly. "I need to see her."

He kissed her knuckles before releasing her hand and getting out of the car. It was a jogger's paradise, the road that they had driven up on. Sharon got out of the car and immediately began looking around for any points of escape that the victim or the suspect could have taken. It was one way up and one way down.

The dome of the Observatory could be seen easily; the entire building could be seen. In the setting sun, the observatory was rimmed in red. Sharon shook her head as she moved around the car, following Andy up.

The officers who weren't expecting her immediately bristled. They weren't all too pleased with her still over the last case she was part of – she had just concluded that one and a lot of these men had been subjected to an interview with her. Not all were helpful, but those who understood that she was just doing her job were more helpful.

She had been in an interview with the last officer when she had gotten the call that Meg had died. She didn't expect to deal with another body so soon. She definitely didn't expect it to be Beth of all people.

"Settle down boys," Andy snapped. "She's here, get over it."

The officers gave her a distasteful look and turned back to do whatever they had been doing before they showed up.

Andy pushed Sharon forward, a hand on her back to where the ME was bent over. A white sheet had been placed on the victim – he had to think of Beth as the victim in the case that it wasn't Beth.

He had met Beth a few times. Usually when he went to Sharon's place, it was longer after Beth had left. But if there was a day that he had off, from time to time he went to surprise Sharon, thus relieving Beth. She was a good kid from what he could tell. Good head on her shoulders, determined to finish out her undergraduate and get a good job.

Unfortunately that had been cut untimely short – the ME had pulled back the sheet and Sharon let out a gasp and then a strangled breath. She put a hand over her mouth and turned away. Andy nodded his head at the ME, who covered the body back up.

The ME waved over his partner, who had a gurney and Andy watched as they picked up Beth and put her onto the gurney, loading her into the back of the van.

"Lieutenant," an officer said. "The victim was found a few hours ago by a jogger. The ME ruled that she had been there for at least twelve hours."

"Any markings?" Andy questioned.

"Ligature marks around her wrists," the officer said, his eyes bouncing from Sharon, who was beginning to pale and Andy who was still smoothing his hand up and down Sharon's back. "Faint bruising around her neck. No other signs of trauma."

"Make sure this report ends up on my desk, will you?" Andy questions. "I'll go meet the ME at the Coroner's office."

The officer nodded and turned, walking away. Andy turned Sharon into him and took her by the elbow, walking her to the car.

Behind it, he pulled her to him and she shuddered. "You're not working this case."

Sharon nodded. She pulled her head away from his chest and looked up at him, her eyes bright with tears.

"She was just-" Sharon forced out. "I saw her last night."

Andy nodded. "Don't say anything yet. I can't – I'm going to have to interview you Sharon."

"I know." She said. "I know what you have to do."

He put her in the car gently and drove to the Coroner's office. It would be there that he'd get the preliminary autopsy report, which he would hopefully get fairly quickly. Then he would take Sharon back to the precinct, let her check on her kids and then interview her.

It put him on edge as he took her through the murder room. There was a mixture of pleasure and worry.

"Your relationship to Beth Willcrest?" Andy asked, opening a pad of paper.

Regardless if she was on the clock now or later, this report would cross her desk – all of their reports did. She had to check them over to make sure nothing had been left out. If one of them had been called into a court as a witness, they went off their report. If their report was wrong, or missing information, the city could have their badge.

This one had to be done by the book. They all did, but this was going to be looked over with a fine toothcomb.

Every cop had a case that they took with him or her the length of their career. Sharon had been through a lot since she started and so had he, but this. This was personal and from the void look in Sharon's eyes, this was the case she was going to take with her forever.

The questions he asked her were to the point. She answered them, all of them. Including questions about whether or not Beth had a boy friend and if she had sex with said boyfriend. Sharon didn't know. He asked Sharon about her whereabouts the night before, the tentative timeline when Beth had been murdered pulled into question.

"I was at home with my children," Sharon said. "I was packing. We were going up north on a vacation."

"You weren't running because you killed someone?" Andy questioned.

In a flash he saw the pain in her eyes. Being accused of killing her babysitter was one thing, but to actually hear him say it – that was – she shook her head. She knew he had to ask the questions, especially since she was one of the last people to see Beth before she died.

Sharon cleared her throat and shook her head again.

"No," Sharon said. "I recently wrapped up a case of my own and had a few days off. I was going to take advantage of that with my family."

"Ms. Willcrest didn't have a boyfriend?"

"Not that I know of, no." Sharon said, clasping her hands in front of her.

"She never mentioned anything of that nature to you?"

"No," Sharon repeated. "She was a student. Most of her time was there or with my children."

"And she spent most of her time, if not all of her time with your children, is that correct?"

"That is," Sharon said.

Andy closed his notebook and stood. "Thank you Mrs. Raydor."

The titled was a slip up. He didn't even realize he had said it until after he had left the room. Cursing under his breath, he tossed his notebook on his desk and dropped down into the chair, leaning back.

"Her whole life in front of her and she ends up in a ditch on the side of a mountain," Andy's partner said. "Shame."

"Yeah," Andy agreed. "Did you get anything off the evidence?"

"Her clothes had been ripped," His partner said. "We went through her apartment, address provided by the Captain and everything seemed to be in order."

"Seemed to be?"

"I mean there was a couple of things shifted around on her vanity," the cop shrugged. "But if the girl was having sex and things got a little rough…"

Andy shook his head as his partner trailed off. He knew what the implications meant. Things on her vanity and or bedside table were meant to be off.

"I've got something for you Flynn," one of the ME's came through. He was out of breath.

"What did you do, run from the office Blake?" Andy questioned.

"Your victim was raped," Blake said, wasting no time, providing Andy pictures of things he'd rather have kept unseen. "Multiple times."

There was something when it came to Sharon that Andy had a keen ability to pick up on. He knew when she was near. He could feel her.

Andy looked over his shoulder at the door that led to the room where he had left Sharon – she was standing in the door listening. She knew he would come and tell her – she knew what the rules were. Families could not help investigate. Families could not and should not be involved. She wasn't family to the victim but she was pretty damn close.

"With multiple objects," Blake had continued on.

"What?" Andy said, the information getting his attention.

"Post mortem too," the ME said. "No fluids, no hairs, no DNA from our suspect, but we found metal shavings and splinters of wood."

Andy cursed under his breath and tossed the report on his desk. He looked up at Sharon again only to find her gone.

Andy stood and buttoned his jacket, picking up the files and putting them under his arm.

"I'm going to find the Captain," Andy announced. "And I'm taking these with me. Call me if we have anything else. Go over her personal effects if there were any. Find out if she went to a bar, find out if she had any friends that might have seen her last night. Just find me something."

"What're you going to do with the Captain?"

"Find out if our victim had any friends," Andy pointed. "Go. Now."

The young cop nodded and disappeared.

Andy loaded the elevator, the files belonging to Beth heavy in his hands. The weight of the world, the weight of her case, finding her killer rested on his shoulders.

He hit the floor that Day Care was on.

He wanted to take her home. He wanted to tuck the kids in and pretend that nothing had happened. For the sake of the kids they had to make it seem like nothing was wrong. Not until they for sure knew what happened to their babysitter.

He wanted to take care of Sharon. He wanted to make her dinner, run her a bath, give her an unopened bottle of wine and let her go to town. He'd be sober to take care of the kids if need be.

When he crawled into bed next to a very spent Sharon Raydor, his mind drifted back to Beth. A woman who would never be able to marry. She'd never break the heart of a man who wanted nothing but happiness for her. She'd never have all the things she deserved. She would never spend the rest of her life in utter happiness.

The only thing he, Andy Flynn could promise Sharon was that he would spend the rest of his life making her happy. That, yes forever was a long time, and he would stop at nothing to make sure she knew how he felt for the rest of their lives. He didn't want to let this happen again. He couldn't afford it.

This was the case to make or break her and he just prayed she wouldn't walk away. From him or from the job.

There had to be a silver lining somewhere. They just had to go out and find it again.

* * *

This was a rough one for me to wrap my mind around. There are two chapters left until the end of this. I should have them posted fairly soon.

Thank you all for the reviews, for the reads. Please don't stop now! I love reading your reactions.


	12. Part 12: The Distance You Have Come

Part 12: The Distance You Have Come

Andy found it ironic that he had gotten the phone call. As he put his coat on, locked his front door, he went through a mental list of things he had to do before he got to the bar. It shocked him really, that of all people to get called about, he didn't expect it to be her.

He parked close to the front door and waved his badge at the bouncer by the door. There was no real need to do it – the bouncer recognized him right away. From the nights of endless drinking when Bobby would take care of him.

A young woman stumbled into him, coming out of the door Her boyfriend was close behind her, give Andy a small apologetic smile. He understood though. He was once the stumbling drunk, running into people.

The bar as usual was dimly lit. Andy checked his watch. In less than an hour the bar was going to get darker. They did that to make it more intimate for the couples who put themselves into the corners. It was a Friday night and the bar was busy.

Who he was there for was an easy find. He'd always find her in a crowded bar or in a crowded room – he'd always find her. No one was bugging her. They were leaving her alone.

She was a quiet drinker. Always had been – for as long as he knew her. As a drunk, she wasn't loud, just quieter. Most often than not she shut down. He never saw her drunk, well at least not past the point of no return. Before she got there she shut herself down. She knew better.

"How's she doing?" Andy questioned the bartender, slipping into a stool on the opposite side from her.

He was trying to stay hidden. He'd take her out when he felt like taking her home. He understood the need to drink out of one dark hole and into another.

Bobby the bartender was wiping down a full rack of glass. The man looked over his shoulder at her and dug into his pocket. Bobby pulled out a set and dangled them in front of Andy. He dropped them into Andy's waiting hand and shrugged.

"Took those 'bout an hour ago," Bobby said, going back to the glass. "Told her I was gonna call you."

"Sure she loved that," Andy grinned, putting the keys into his own pocket.

"She's not the first person to tell me to go screw myself," Bobby said, giving Andy a smug smile.

Andy was one of those people. When he was bad and Bobby took his keys and called him a cab. Or his wife.

"What has she been drinking?" Andy asked.

The woman could hold her liquor when she wanted. When she wanted to let go she went for the hard stuff. She went for the stuff that made the darkness bright and the stuff that made her head hurt for the entire day.

"Johnny," Bobby said. "Then vodka. And now she's working on her third rum and coke."

Andy whistled and shook his head.

"Rough time at work?" Bobby questioned.

When Andy was lit, he'd go off on his work. Bobby knew more about his job than his own.

"Two women were found raped and killed," Andy said carefully. "One of the women was her babysitter."

Bobby whistled low and shook his head. He walked over to the end of the bar where Sharon sat, took her receipt out of the cup and tossed it. When Sharon looked up, surprise in her eyes, Bobby pointed to where Andy was sitting.

He couldn't help but smile and wave as her eyes narrowed at him. She didn't need rescuing. Not that he was there to rescue her. He was there to take care of her.

Andy slipped up behind her, his arms on either side of there, palms flat against the bar. He lowered his lips to her cheek and pressed a kiss to it.

"We're leaving," Andy said, deep in her ear. He took her purse, took her coat, and helped her off the stool when she turned around.

Hand in hers; he refused to let it go. He weaved his fingers in with hers and squeezed as he pulled her to him.

He would be back in the morning to pick up her car. Bobby at the end of the night put the keys into a box and into the office. Andy had keys to both, the gate that Bobby would lock, keeping the cars on the property and a key to the office. In the past, Andy would slip in and out before he went to work, leaving Bobby a tip. Never has the man asked for the key back.

Sharon was drunk. He had to lift her out of the car, she had fallen asleep, which he wasn't sure was a good idea.

Running the water in her bathroom, Andy turned up the heat. He waited for the steam to start billowing over the curtain and fogging up the mirrors before he left in search of her.

Sharon was where he left her,; on the bed with her eyes glazed over. He crouched down in front of her, his palms flat against her thighs.

"Hey," he said, his voice warm. "You need to take a shower."

She nodded, her head swaying a little. So drunk. He felt a small amount of pressure in his chest. He stood, taking her hands in his and forcing her to do the same.

He brushed her hair back, away from her neck, away from the buttons of her blouse he had seen her for a split second in earlier in the day. Carefully he undid the buttons one by one in the case she came to her senses.

He released her arms from the confines of her sleeves. His knuckles brushed her side, carefully, respectfully, down to her hips, where his fingers went to the button of her pants. He paused, giving her a look, asking for permission. She nodded and he took it.

He dropped to his knees and removed each leg from her pants. When he stood back up, her hands were at his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. Her lips and her tongue tasted like alcohol. He pulled back and shook his head.

"Not now," he said. "Later."

He expected her to push him away. He denied her want. But she didn't. She nodded as if she understood and maybe she did. Maybe she didn't. He didn't know and he didn't care. He just needed her showered.

The kids were next door with one of her neighbors. When he knew that Sharon was asleep in her bed, he went and knocked on the door.

A woman answered, surprised that a man was standing at her door.

"Evening ma'am," Andy said respectfully. "I'm a friend of Sharon's. I'm here to pick up her kids."

The woman nodded and took a step back, allowing him entrance. The kids, both of them were asleep, on the couch. It was late for them. Too late to be up and waiting. He shook his head as he lifted up Ricky first. The kid weighed nothing.

Sharon's neighbor had picked up Emily and effortlessly transferred the girl into Andy's waiting arm.

"Is Sharon okay?" the neighbor asked, opening the door to her apartment for him.

"Rough couple of weeks at work," Andy said. "Do you need – did she pay you for the kids?"

The neighbor waved. "Don't worry about it. Have a good night."

"You too," He nodded, before kicking the door closed. He'd have to go back and lock it.

Andy took both kids into their room. He set Emily down first. He nudged her so her head was on the pillow. He settled Ricky in his bed, the kids had been in their pajamas, so he could only assume that Sharon had bathed them and dressed them for bed before she dropped them off. Whether or not she was anticipating to pick them up was all on her.

He smoothed the boy's hair out as Ricky sighed. Andy moved to Emily, the girl in her pink dress that she loved so much. He grinned as she sat on the edge of the bed. The girl was awake, sleepy, but awake.

"Hey kid," Andy said, pulling the comforter and sheet back to cover Emily in it. "Did you have a good night?"

"Is Mommy okay?" Emily asked, avoiding Andy's question.

"Why wouldn't she be?" Andy asked, brushing the hair from Emily's face, a motion he had seen Sharon do a million times.

"Beth," Emily said quietly.

The kids had taken Beth's death hard. They both loved her and to find out that they'd never see her again came as a shock.

"Your mom misses her," Andy said. "I do too. She was nice, wasn't she?"

Emily nodded and snuggled under the blanket further.

"Mommy didn't come back," Emily pointed out as Andy stood. "Is she mad at us?"

Andy regarded the kid. Of course, first thing they think of, probably because of Jack was that Sharon left them with the neighbor because she was mad at them. Far from it .She was mad at herself. Mad at the job. Mad at the idiot who is making her life hell.

"Not at all, kid," Andy smiled. "Her job isn't being nice right now."

Emily nodded and buried her head into her pillow. She sighed and he smoothed the blanket down.

"She's not mad at you Emily," he tried again. "She's just – you want to help me make her breakfast in the morning?"

Emily nodded and grinned.

"Alright. Pancakes and eggs, how does that sound?"

"She likes pancakes," Emily said.

"See?" Andy said, standing up. He had to leave or else this kid wouldn't go to sleep. Plus he had to go lock up the apartment and make sure Sharon was asleep. "It'll make her feel better."

He checked on Ricky really quick. The boy was asleep, his mouth was slightly opened, sleep having taken him completely.

"Sleep tight, Em," Andy said, slipping Sharon's moniker for the girl in there.

Andy had gone through the apartment one more time, double-checking the locks and dead bolting the door. He flipped off the lights that he had switched on earlier to bring her inside off and took one more look around the dark room. Everything was still. Everything for the time being was okay.

He slipped into her bedroom, taking a look at the sleeping woman in the bed. He debated on slipping between the covers and sleeping with her or sleeping on the couch. She had a spare blanket in the hallway closet and she had an extra pillow in her closet as well.

But as soon as he took a seat on the edge of the bed, his body relaxed. The weight of the evening finally settled into his muscles and the overwhelming feeling of being tired hitting him like a ton of bricks.

He slipped off his shoes one at a time, each hitting Sharon's floor with a resounding 'thud'. He methodically took off his dress shirt, slipped off his pants and just sat there for who knows how long. The debate was long over. He'd be lying back in the bed; his back would hate it if he slept on the couch. He'd much rather have her mad at him than being in pain for the entire day.

Lying back with a groan of contentment, he was taken by surprise when Sharon rolled over, off her back, onto her side, wrapping an arm around his middle.

"You're home," she muttered, as if he had been out on a case. As if he hadn't just picked her up from the same bar where on countless nights she picked up her husband.

He sighed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, hugging her to him. She was safe. For now.

The smell of coffee and smell of homemade food woke Sharon up. Her head was pounding in her ears. Her body ached in places she didn't know existed and she felt nauseous. She ran a hand over her face, the bright lights of her bedroom forcing her to wince.

Stumbling out of her room, down the hallway, she was met with an overwhelming heartwarming and foreign sight. It was Andy cooking breakfast in her kitchen, with both kids on the counter, each having something to do.

Emily had a bowl in her lap, a spoon in hand and she was stirring what looked like pancake batter. Ricky had a bowl with discarded eggshells that he presented to Andy whenever a cracked egg needed to be disposed off.

Sharon watched as Andy said something to Ricky and the boy giggled, he squealed when Andy held an egg over the boy's head and caught him as the kid nearly dove headfirst off the counter.

"Something smells good," Sharon proclaimed, her voice, although soft, sounding loud in her own ears.

Andy righted Ricky up onto his feet and the three of them looked surprised to see her. Andy grinned at her and shrugged.

"We're making pancakes." Emily stated. "It's supposed to be a surprise."

Sharon nodded her head and winked at her daughter. Ricky was happy with his bowl, leaning against Andy's knees.

Andy grinned at the kid as he looked up and held out his hand for the bowl. Ricky gave it up and ran past Sharon, into the living room, throwing himself down in front of the television.

"How's the head?" Andy asked quietly, wrapping an arm around Sharon's middle.

"Kills," she muttered. "I want to never drink again."

Andy grinned. She said that now. And he knew she wouldn't for a while, a few weeks, maybe a couple of months, not until she felt like she was back in control.

"Hey Em," Andy said, holding his hand out for the bowl of batter. "Jump down and go make sure you've got everything for tomorrow."

Sharon looked at Andy with her eyebrows raised. Then it hit her. It was Sunday. Tomorrow was Monday. Her kids had school.

She let out a breath and watched as Emily did as she was told. The girl jumped down on her feet and disappeared.

Quietly, Andy poured some patter into the pan and flipped them when needed. When they were done he put them on the plate with the others and turned the stove off.

Sharon was lost in thought, thinking about nothing, thinking about everything; she couldn't focus on one thing. She was mad at herself for losing control. She was mad at herself for forgetting about her children – it was Jack's weekend; he didn't show. The kids were upset, she was stressed; she dumped her kids with her neighbor and went out to get smashed. She pulled a card out of her husband's deck. It made her want to vomit. It made her want to cry.

Andy was there. The confusion as to why the man was standing in her kitchen, with the kids had slowly disappeared and the pieces of the puzzle fit.

"Bobby called me last night," Andy said, wrapping her up in his arms, pulling her to him. "Told me you were at the bar. Do you remember seeing me?"

She nodded against his chest. If he had to guess, she had her eyes closed. The sunlight killing her, making her head hurt worse. As sad as it was to say it, he was happy about it. She needed it. She had kids to take care of. He wasn't going to let her take a headfirst dive into his rabbit hole.

"You can't let this happen again, Sharon," Andy said, pulling back, tilting her head up with his index finger. "You've come so far in the last year. Got a new job. Got a new rank. Divorced your husband. You can't throw that all away because of a drink."

"Sounds like something I told you."

"You took my badge," he reminded. "I can't do that do you. I can hang your kids over your head though."

"Please don't," she muttered. "I can't-"

"I'm not leavin' you, Sharon," Andy said. "You made a mistake, now learn from it."

He held her in the kitchen for who knows how long. Emily had come out and instigated a pillow fight with her brother. Their laughter had escalated to the point where Sharon had to cringe and bury her head into Andy's shoulder.

He gave her some water, a couple of Tylenol and that was it. She had the rest of the day to get over it.

The fact of the matter was, no matter how many steps back she took, he'd still love her. He'd still help her. He'd still be proud of her.

She had accomplished so much in the last twelve months, his pride soared. He could honestly say he knew the woman who had not only grown as a woman within the LAPD, but as a mother as well. She went from balancing four lives, to dealing with her kids and then her own. She went from balancing two jobs, to just her own. She made everything work with some sort of ease. How she did it he didn't know.

Andy Flynn was just an audience member watching a magician create magic. A spectator in the stands, watching history be made. An outsider looking in and there was no place he'd rather be.

* * *

Thank you to those of you who have been reading and reviewing! Thank you to those who have been reading! Keep reading, keep reviewing! I should have another chapter up in a couple of days and that'll wrap this story up. I'm pretty excited.


	13. Part 13: Always

Part 13: Always

It had been a month since Andy took Sharon out of the bar. Things had calmed down considerably. Sharon had gone back to work and continued to shape people into the model officers everyone in the force should be. Andy continued to be stubborn and thick headed when it came to fighting for his case. Superior officers would send him to Sharon, she'd send him home, because he broke some rule that forced her hand, and then he'd wait for her to come home.

Not that he made a habit of it, but when he did get suspended, he usually went to the store before swinging around and picking up the kids. He made sure the kids started on their homework; Emily had more than her brother, but Sharon's first question always when she walked through the door was, 'Did you finish your homework?' Without fail.

Andy normally didn't play politics that involved Sharon and Internal Affairs. No longer was his relationship with Sharon a secret. Everyone knew and albeit old news, he still got crap for it. He let it slide. Only Provenza called her, if he knew that Andy was staying at her place, and the team needed him. Provenza complained, Andy for the most part ignored his partner's unhappiness; Andy just didn't deal with the politics. He signed what he had to, if he needed to, and went on with his way.

Andy's face was buried in Sharon's mane of hair when he heard her phone ring. His fingers brushed her hip as he rolled onto his back. She'd have to lean over to get the phone, he never answered it, purely in case someone other than Provenza called.

The sun was up, peaking through the blinds. Andy listened for the kids; the muted sounds of the television were void. Everything was quiet, with the exception of her phone ringing.

"Raydor," she answered, her voice thick with sleep. She rolled over, onto her back and held the phone out for him. "It's for you."

Andy took it, only after kissing her, a way of apologizing for waking her up on her day off. She let out a laugh before shaking her head. She normally would roll over and try to go back to sleep. Andy just held himself up with one hand as the other cradled the phone.

"I can't go back. I got suspended, remember?" Andy questioned, earning a look from Sharon.

She pushed on his chest, forcing him to move. In a single move, Sharon rolled one way and Andy took her spot on the bad, so he could sit up at the edge, without pulling the phone from the wall.

He could hear the russle of fabric behind him. A pair of lips met his shoulder and he smiled. Somehow she always knew.

"Shit," he cursed, listening to Provenza explain the details of their newest body.

Sharon came around the bed to look at him, a hand propped up on her hip. He shook his head, waved in apology. He'd tell her what Provenza said. He always did. She knew that, so she let him be.

When Sharon came back out, Andy was hanging up the phone and standing, stretching himself out. She went to him, wrapping arms around his back after crawling across the bed.

"Provenza lonely?" she said, trying her hand at a light joke.

"Remember the kid from the zoo patrol found last week?" Andy questioned. She shook her head. Most things didn't cross her desk and she every so often relied on Andy to tell her what she was missing. This wasn't one of them. "Someone at the zoo called in an abandoned kid, patrol went to pick him up, they looked for his parents and stuck 'im in DCFS. We found his mom."

"Alive?"

When Andy said nothing, simply bowed his head in an alternate form of response, Sharon curled herself around him to stand between his knees. She curled her arms around his neck and tilted his head up with a crooked finger.

"What happened?"

"No evidence of drugs," Andy swallowed hard. "A few shot bottles were found and track marks on the woman."

"How do you know it's her?"

"Provenza had Michaels run a DNA test and had it rushed." Andy admitted. "It's a match."

Cases with children were never easy. They put everyone on edge. She figured it was worse with people who didn't have children than those who did. Those who did managed to get home to theirs, to make sure they were safe, while the officers who didn't have children went home and created alternate ways to void themselves of the pain. It was what he did, what he wants to do from time to time, but those nights were a rarity now.

He usually called his ex-wife who let him talk to his kids for about a minute, before declaring it was a school night and promptly hung up on him. Then he made his way over to Sharon's to tuck her kids into bed. It was a life of a parent, a fiber of his being, the need to protect children at all costs. Sharon would never argue with him on that. She's done it herself.

"A neighbor went to check on her," Andy said, filling her in on the facts that Provenza had given him. "No answer. Hadn't seen her in a while, so the manager of the hotel opened her door and found her dead."

"Anyone with her?"

"Provenza says that there was a guy with her, " Andy shrugged. "No I.D.. Probably a boyfriend."

"Or her dealer," Sharon mentioned sadly.

Andy was struggling. He had been sober for a little over three years and she couldn't have been happier for him. She'd caught him on more than one occasion when he'd eye her glass of wine, or a bottle of beer at the store. Every so often he'd lean forward to touch it, never doing so, but the sway and pitch forward was minimal, almost naked to the unknowing eye.

Those were the nights she'd make him dinner. Those were the nights she let him make love to her out of necessity and not necessarily need. Sharon had to remind herself every so often that Andy thought of himself as the dead beat dad who left his kids for the bottle. He did, but he gets better every day. If he didn't, she wouldn't have let him be around her kids as much as he's been.

He chose the addiction over his kids and he made a mistake. He's realized that now. He realized that a little over three years ago when he has his wife were fighting and Nicole saw them. He had been drunk, suspended, and possibly out of a job. Everything had set him off.

He was on unpaid leave for three months, his wife divorced him, she got full custody of the kids and he was left with nothing. He went to rehab. He stayed sober.

"Stay close to me Ricky," Sharon ordered as she took Emily's hand in hers.

Ricky was up in front of them, as Sharon crossed the parking structure that belonged to Parker Center's police station. Andy was itching to go, to get in the middle of the action and she supposed him stopping by to pick up something from his desk wasn't necessarily breaking any rules.

Afterwards, they'd be going to lunch, a promise of ice cream and possibly a movie was thrown out there on the occasion that both children were good. After a rough case like this, Andy would be pulling out his card and treating everyone to ice cream and a movie whether the kids were good or not. He wanted them happy. He wanted her happy.

"Ignore me," Andy waved, when he entered the room, earning weary looks from his fellow officers. "Looking for something in my desk. I've been cleared."

"To work?" Provenza asked.

"To look for whatever it is he's lost in his desk, Lieutenant," Sharon said, stepping into the room with Ricky on her hip. He had escaped from her hold on the elevator, ran into an officer who immediately grimaced at the sight of her. She picked up her son who was now trying to get down again. "Richard, stop it."

The boy immediately simmered down and looked around the room. He spotted Andy who was keeping up pretenses on looking for something.

"You can continue gentleman," Sharon said, stepping over to Andy's desk, where she sat Ricky on the edge.

Provenza looked from one officer to another and sighed. "What did you get from the Toxicology report?"

"One hundred percent clean, sir," the officer said. "No sign of drugs or alcohol in her system."

Sharon could feel Andy relax behind her. She was perched on the edge of her desk, throwing looks every so often over her shoulder to check and make sure the kids weren't bothering Andy.

"What about the track marks?" Sharon asked. "Are they fresh?"

Provenza spun around, surprise flashed and then soon melted into annoyance that she would know about the track marks.

"Coroner says they're old," he said, tossing the information over his shoulder. "Her son-"

As if planned, the sound of a baby wailing sounded through the room. A small woman came through, a bundle of blanket and screaming child in her arms. The woman looked weary and anxious.

"I was told to bring him here," the woman said. She was an officer. "DCFS should be on their way up."

Everyone stopped, the baby screaming at the top of his lungs made everyone sit up a little, Emily and Ricky surprised by the noise.

Sharon sighed and stood, taking the baby from her arms. "I'll take him until DCFS arrives, thank you."

"Yes ma'am," the officer nodded before walking away, quickly.

She gave her children a look and then nodded down the hallway. They both nodded and went in the direction that she told them to go.

"I'll be in the break room," she said. "Try and feed him something. When DCFS shows up, I'll be in there."

"Okay," Andy nodded. "I'll keep looking for that one thing in here."

She smiled and nodded. The men on his team looked floored that she just took the screaming child, who was still screaming and she seemed totally unfazed.

After some time she finally got the baby boy to stop screaming. His voice no doubt was hoarse. He let out sad pathetic whimpers that only broke her heart more. She paced the room as her kids ate their lunch. She rocked him when she sat and tried to have him stand on her knees. He was going to have nothing of it.

She started to make another round of the break room when Andy came in to check in on her about an hour later. The boy had stopped crying, stopped whimpering, and now was just holding onto Sharon's blouse for dear life. She had the blanket he was brought in on the table; Emily and Ricky were playing with something that was in their backpacks, looking content as ever.

"Hey," he said slipping into the room. She gave him a small smile. When Andy reached over to touch the kid's head, Sharon turned away from him.

"Just got him to settle," Sharon said. "My ears aren't ringing as loudly anymore."

"Kid's got a pair of lungs," he said. Sharon nodded and swayed from side to side.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Sharon asked.

Andy gave her a smirk and shook his head. "Not yet. I was just going to take a break and head back to searching."

"And the rest?"

"She matches the MO of the other victims," Andy said sadly. He just got her out of the cloud and now she might have to go back into it. "She matches the type, build and age profile that we set up."

DCFS showed late into the night. Andy had to take the kids home, get them settled into bed, have the neighbor come over to watch the house while he went back to make sure Sharon and the kid were okay. By law Sharon couldn't leave. She had assumed responsibility and stepping out of the station could constitute kidnapping. As a woman of rule and stature, she was content hanging out in the break room with the baby boy.

When she had to hand him over to the Agent from DCFS, the boy did just as she imagined he would do. He cried. He screamed and what took everyone by surprise was he leaned out for Sharon. He wanted Sharon. When she took him back, the boy immediately quieted which surprised everyone once again.

"I was watching him while we waited for you," Sharon explained to the woman. "These officers were investigating a murder."

"And who are you?" The woman snapped at Sharon, earning low whistles from the other officers.

"I'm –"

"Are you a cop or not?" the woman said quickly. "We were told the child was handed off to the LAPD and if you are not-"

"I am a cop," Sharon said, her voice dropping an octave. "I'm the highest ranking officer in this room at this very moment. I know what the rules are because I make them. I know what the policies are between the LAPD and DCFS because I helped secure them."

When the woman did nothing but bristle, Sharon continued.

"I could have your job if I wanted to," Sharon said. "You were informed of this boy a week ago when he was first found. He should have been your priority. You should have known where he was at all times."

Everyone around her, with the exception of the lady who looked like a chastised child had smirks on their faces. She won.

"We need to place him in a home until we can provide further arrangements," the woman said. "We have a family who could take him now, if you'd like to hand him over."

Sharon threw a look over her shoulder at Andy, her cheek brushing the top of the boy's blonde head. She had spent her entire day with the boy. He wouldn't let anyone else touch him, except for her.

"Excuse me please," she said, the boy still in her arms.

When Sharon walked away, Andy followed. He always followed.

"What's going through your head right now Sharon?" Andy questioned quickly when they rounded the corner.

"I'm taking him home," she said. "I can't just let him go to some-"

"Your mom senses tingling?" He laughed.

She shrugged and smiled. "Something like that."

Andy dug in his pocket and handed her a box. She let out a small gasp, taking it carefully.

"It's not what you think," he said quickly. It was that small, but that wasn't what it was. "Open it."

She did, one handed, and inside was a small lock. She looked up and tilted her head at him.

"I was going to ask you to move in with me," Andy said. "Sometime soon. Not today, but soon. You're going to need a bigger place."

"And you have – " she started. "Your place is barely big enough for you."

"These are for a house that belongs to me that I don't live in," he smirked. "Grandfather left me a house, I've had it since I turned 30. Here and there I've rented it out but kicked out the last couple because of – let's just say we had differences."

"And they were?"

"Not you," he said. "Your kids need a yard. My house has one. If you're keepin' the kid he's going to need a room. There are four. Start over, Sharon."

"With you?"

"With or without me, I don't care, well I do, but it's not up to me it's up to you," he said honestly.

If he had his way she'd live with him for the rest of their lives. He'd marry her in a heartbeat. If he could afford it he'd never have her set foot into the LAPD again. But that was just his preference.

They had to work. They had to keep themselves busy and there was nothing they could do about it. If something lulled they both got irritated and aggravated.

"There's a new spot opening up," Andy mentioned. "Pope is looking for someone to replace Michaelson in Robber Homicide."

"I heard Taylor is up for that," she mentioned, her eyes still glued to the little box. "I need to stay here, Andy. This is the only way-"

"To get where you need to be," he nodded. "I know."

Rusty moved in Sharon's arms, mewling lightly before shifting his head, burying it in her chest. He let out a sigh and she felt the tension in his body relax.

Sharon looked up at Andy who was giving her a small grin. It was true, she was going to need a bigger place if she was going to raise three kids, essentially by herself. What Andy had said was true. The baby was going to need his own room when he got older. Ricky and Emily were going to need a yard to run around in. The place, unbeknownst to her, had a view of the city. It was why his family bought it and kept it so one day, someone who appreciated it could have it to keep.

Three months after DCFS had deemed Sharon capable of keeping Rusty in her own, acting as his parental guardian, Andy pulled up to the coffee shop around the corner from the department. He parked right in front of the door.

The bell rang above his head and he waved at the girl behind the counter before going to scout out his table.

The usual people were sitting at their usual tables. He spotted the woman with the baby stroller easily; she was sitting at the corner table as always. Andy grinned as he made his way through the maze of tables, the sound of the baby giggling growing louder and louder as he approached.

The woman in question had not yet seen him; her back was to the door. He felt her stiffen as he placed his hands over her eyes.

"Boo," he said low in her ear and immediately he felt her relax.

Andy had heard people say that the key to happiness was on singular object. But he had to differ. It was multiple things. Life was a door that could lead in different directions. Life was the holder of keys, one key fitting one door leading down one path. The key to happiness was to find the keys that fit his life. The things in life that made him happy.

Twelve months later Andy stood in the foyer of his house, watching the three kids run around in the back yard. Rusty giggling at Ricky and Emily, giggling when he fell right on his butt. Sharon was standing off to the side, a camera in hand and Andy couldn't have felt prouder.

He had promised Sharon a quiet day in October that no matter what happened he would be by her side. He would be her champion, her fighter, and her confidant in life. He had repeated words to her that she had told Rusty. He was the key to a new life. She was the key to his happiness. Together they would be by each other's side, through sickness and in health, through rich or poor, forever and always.

* * *

Thank you to everyone who has read this story! I am beyond grateful! This has been a fun dive into the world of Major Crimes and these characters. I should be posting a new story soon so be on the look out for that. In the meantime, read and review this one, and enjoy this new season!


End file.
